


Walk Away

by ju4jen



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:02:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ju4jen/pseuds/ju4jen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The election to be a Representative in the House of Congress has been particularly nasty. Jared Padalecki, openly gay and standing for the liberal Every Man Party, has suffered from the aggressive campaigning from the Ackles family - political royalty with at least one president already on the family tree - who are hoping their latest golden scion, Jensen, will be heading towards Washington. Then Jared's campaign manager decides to go against Jared's personal wishes and sets off a series of events that will change the political landscape in Boston completely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walk Away

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the near future where the political system has begun to coalesce into extreme polarities - the hard right getting harder, and the liberal left desperately trying to fight against the removal of rights for a whole host of minorities.
> 
> Being English, the American political system is something of a mystery for me and therefore I tried really hard to fudge through anything I didn't know. I apologise if I have written something that really grates on any of you political scientists out there.
> 
> Gratitude: First to evian_fork who not only is a bundle of enthusiastic joy but who also managed to produce an astonishing amount of fabulous art which has given my story a completely different dimension. Thank you so much for claiming my humble fic and then for searching and finding out every and any photograph of the Js wearing suits and therefore looking like politicians.  
> Thanks also to januarygirl64 and Julie who did the first read throughs and assured me that the story was okay. januarygirl64 also did the beta-ing. I did fiddle afterwards so any mistakes in this are mine and mine alone.
> 
> Finally, thanks go to the mods of spn_j2_bigbang. This is the celebration of fan fic of all celebrations and they do a stunning job. I am so thrilled (and nervous) to be taking part again.

This is a story about ambition, family, about being what you want to be. It’s about betrayal and love, pain and sacrifice. It’s not really about Politics although Jensen would argue it is about politics with a small p. Don’t try to argue back. As Jared will tell you, Jensen is the terminator on the debating stage.

***

NOW November 2020

It took Jensen exactly three minutes before he threw up.

Three minutes since he turned on the TV, and saw his face plastered over the breakfast news.

Three minutes since he heard that two men had come forward to accuse him, Jensen Ackles, of being involved in relationships with men.

Three minutes since he realised that Padalecki had betrayed him.

He didn’t even have time to make it to the bathroom. His stomach had simply turned in on itself before emptying its contents all over the polished parquet floor. 

***

Jared Padalecki was cornered by the media as he returned from his early morning run.

Not quite understanding their questions, he responded with polite ‘no comment’ and then forced his way through the crowds and through the glass doors of his apartment block.

“What have you done?” he turned in panic to his publicist as he burst into his living quarters. A stony knot formed in his stomach as guilt flashed across the faces of his team. Mark Shepherd simply shrugged and clicked on the news.

The latest promo for the Padalecki Represents Every One campaign was playing on loop. Jared watched it through twice, and then, exactly seven minutes and thirty-three seconds after Jensen Ackles, he vomited up the contents of his stomach too. Only he managed to reach his bathroom.

***

From Transcript of the Promotional Film for the Padalecki Represents Everyman Campaign 2020.

“Jensen Ackles will tell you that he stands for everyone. But his “Traditional Values” party is fighting for the abolishment of free rights for large factions of the population. Jensen Ackles will tell you that he is a moderate, but his family, for two generations, have been instrumental in dismantling laws that forbade prejudice and intolerance against non-traditional lifestyles. Jensen Ackles will tell you that he will support you in congress regardless of your gender, race or sexuality, but his track record in local government is one of abstention and indifference. Jensen Ackles will tell you that he is man of integrity, a man who speaks and lives the truth, but his seemingly perfect family life is a carefully constructed lie.

“Because Jensen Ackles is a hypocrite. He says he stands for Traditional Values but he has lived his life in direct contradiction to his own family’s principles and ethics. He claims that he supports the Traditional Values manifesto but the truth is that Ackles has broken his own party’s moral code so often that he mocks and disrespects it. Ackles shows us that he is a traditional family man with a beautiful wife and lovely children, but at night he shares his bed with people who his own family have called ‘immoral diseases’ and ‘propagators of wickedness’.

In 2017, whilst a councillor representing the local district of Medford, Jensen Ackles engaged in a relationship with John Sopwith, a young intern. Sopwith has now come forward to tell his story because he is angry at how Ackles is deceiving innocent Traditional Values voters. In 2019 Miles Quiller indulged in a night of steamy passion with a man he picked up at a night club in downtown Boston. It was only in the morning that he realised that his one night stand was none other than Representative Ackles. He too has stepped forward claiming that Ackles’ assurances of his moral standing are all lies.

Being a homosexual isn’t morally wrong. Jared Padalecki himself, candidate for Every One party in the coming elections, is openly gay and supportive of the human rights that allow Every Man and Woman to live their lives in the way that is right for them. But Padalecki doesn’t live a lie. He owns his truth despite the difficulties of living openly as a homosexual. 

Jensen Ackles is a liar and a cheat and he doesn’t deserve your vote.

Vote Padalecki.

Padalecki Represents Every One!

***

To: Jim Beaver (beaver@ackles2020campaign.com)

From: Alan Ackles (acklesA@interweb.com)

10.21.20 7:35am

What the hell is going on? I thought you had silenced anyone who could have come forward?  
I am assuming you are already on the case. May I suggest locking Jensen down for the foreseeable future too.

Ackles

***

To: Alan Ackles (acklesA@interweb.com)

From: Jim Beaver (beaver@ackles2078campaign.com

10.21.20 7:42am

I’m trying to track down both named witnesses – Shepherd will have them holed up somewhere so it won’t be easy.  
Locking Jensen down won’t work – he needs to be seen, needs to be dismissing these claims as a joke.  
And I promise you, Alan, I thought we had found all the skeletons from his closet. But your son is obviously an inveterate sinner…

Beaver

***

“Where the hell did you find them?” Matt grinned wickedly at Mark Shepherd.

“They’re not too hard to find,” Shepherd leered back. “Fucking arsehole can’t keep his dick in his pants.” His team had relaxed and were in a congratulatory mood. Jared, standing in the doorway after cleaning himself up, felt rising nausea again and swallowed bitterly.

“Pull the promo,” he snarled.

The mood plummeted as every face turned towards him.

“What?” Matt gasped in surprise. “We’ve finally got him!”

“Pull the promo,” Jared reiterated.

“He hasn’t exactly been pulling his punches, Jared,” Sandy McCoy, his communications officer, said quietly. 

Jared glared at her. “I don’t care. Pull the fucking promo. Pull it now."

Mark raised his hands in submission but there was glint of laughter in his eyes.

“Okay, okay, big guy. We’ll pull it, but it’s been on air for nearly an hour now – the whole world’s already seen it.”

Jared clenched his jaw tightly watched by the whole of his campaign team.

“It’s not like we’ve made anything up,” Genevieve Cortese argued. “These are genuine people with true stories.”

Jared practically screeched his reply. “You don’t get it – we don’t do this. I don’t do this! I don’t fucking care how true this is. We don’t sink to using tactics this low.”

There were flickers of guilt on some of the faces in the room. Also bewilderment.

Mark Shepherd, smarmy git that he was, continued to look unruffled and amused.

“I told you,” Jared spat out. “I told you that I wanted a clean campaign…”

“A clean campaign is a losing campaign – your numbers aren’t climbing nearly high enough, and if you don’t win, that hypocritical faggot will get the seat and there will be another Trad. Val. representative in Congress for another four years. Is that what you want?” Mark spoke reasonably and then looked shocked when he was on the receiving end of a right hook.

“I won’t win a seat by any means. Particularly not these means. And that is the last time you call anyone a faggot and continue to work for me,” Jared said breathing deeply and rubbing at his knuckles. “I will not be responsible for ruining a man’s reputation.”

“He’s done his best to ruin yours,” Matt countered as he helped Shepherd up from the floor.

“So what? That gives us a right to be as bad in return, does it?. Fuck off! The lot of you.” 

The scramble for the door was urgent. Jared was almost purple-faced with anger and there was no way of knowing what he would strike out at next. He was good to work for, fair and, generally cheerful, but his temper, though rare, was legendary.

Shepherd was the only one who remained, ruefully touching his face.

“Look, Jared…” he began.

“I’m not repeating myself,” Jared interrupted sharply. “Pull the promo. And I want a retraction. We’re going to put out a statement that says we made a mistake.”

If Jared hadn’t been so mad, he would have laughed out loud at the sheer and utter amazement on Mark Shepherd’s face in response to that.

“But.. but…” the publicist blustered.

Jared simply turned away from him.

“Do it or leave,” Jared answered simply. 

***

“It’s 10am on the 21st October 2020. I’m Emma Christian. Welcome to the CNN’s Morning World News.

There’s been a surprising twist to the story everyone is talking about this morning as the Padalecki press office has just released a statement retracting claims made in a promotional film that was released this morning. In the film they claimed that they had witnesses to prove that Jensen Ackles, Padalecki’s main rival in the upcoming congressional elections, is a homosexual. However, the new statement makes a full apology to Mr. Ackles and his family for the pain that the film must have caused, and makes it fully clear that the campaign team has no proof and no interest in Mr. Ackles sexual orientation.

The move comes as a surprise to most commentators as this has been a particularly nasty battle between the two campaigns with the Ackles camp utilising their greater resources with significant effect against Padalecki, an openly homosexual man, whose late father served several sentences in a federal prison. Mr. Padalecki is standing for the liberal Every One party. 

Rumours about Jensen Ackles’ sexuality were seemingly scotched when he married Danneel Harris eight years ago. They have two children and his campaign, run by his father, former Senator Alan Ackles, has emphasised his status as a family man. However, although no claims have been made openly until this morning The Padalecki Represents Every One promo claimed they had two men who had stepped forward admitting they had been involved sexually with Ackles within the last four years. If this is true, then Ackles’ career in politics would almost certainly be over – and he would certainly be expelled from the Traditional Values Party.

It now seems that some over-enthusiastic intern in the Padalecki campaign headquarters may have over-stepped their mark, leaving Padalecki to make an embarrassing retraction. 

And in other news today…

***

Danneel entered the darkened bedroom softly.

Jensen was sitting in the armchair in the corner. She could see his shadowed outline but his expression was hidden in the gloom.

“Your father called,” she said gently.

Jensen snorted but otherwise didn’t answer.

“Jim has been pacing the corridors all morning,” Danneel continued. “Oh, and Padalecki has put out a retraction and withdrawn the promo.”

She heard a small gasp of surprise.

“It didn’t really seem like something he would do anyway,” she mused. “He seems too honourable to stoop as low as character assignation – particularly when he is gay himself. I bet it was Shepherd. He’s an evil son of a bitch.”

He didn’t think she meant it, but there was an undercurrent of accusation in her tone. After all, his own campaign hadn't exactly been squeaky clean.

“I’m sorry, Danni,” he finally answered.

“Don’t be,” she breathed. “I knew what I was getting into, what could happen.”

She stared down at him, still reluctant to come further into the room. “We’ve got to get ready for the rally in Houston.”

“Really?” Jensen hadn’t moved, hadn’t even turned towards his wife.

“Jim thinks it best to carry on – business as usual – and laugh at the accusations, particularly since Padalecki has withdrawn the claims,” she cajoled. 

“But they are all true, Danni – not one of the accusations is a lie,” Jensen said, his voice heavy. “Are they really expecting me to go out there and pretend?”

“You’ve been doing it for years, Jensen,” Danni replied a little too sharply. “Nothing has changed.”  
Jensen snorted again. 

No, nothing has changed…

But he wanted to… he wanted to change everything so much.

***

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
10.21.20 10:03am  
I’m sorry. I didn’t authorise it.

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
10.21.20 10:09am  
I promise I didn’t know what they were fucking doing.

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
10.21.20 10:15am  
Please, talk to me.

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
10.21.20 10:23am  
Please Jen, just answer your phone.

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
10.21.20 10:25am  
JEN?

***

Jared wasn’t born with the same advantages as Jensen Ackles, although they were both born in Texas.

He was brought up in a trailer park not in a mansion. His father was a drunk not a Senator and his mother was absent not a home maker. There were more times than he liked to remember when he went hungry and his clothes were worn from years of use rather than crisp from the hangers of Gucci.  
However, through sheer hard work, determination, a natural brilliance and a desperation to escape the vicious claws of poverty, Jared managed to leave his white trash background behind to follow Ackles to Harvard to study law. 

Ackles was four years Jared’s senior and already in graduate school when Jared was a freshman, and for all Jared’s effort in raising himself above his lowly beginnings, he never moved in the right circles to meet formally with the older man. He spent his time in the library, working in the local coffee shop and as a TA as soon as his professors gained the measure of him. Of course, being the son of a high profile senator surrounded by rumours about a run for the presidency, gave Jensen Ackles notoriety and a level of fame within the hallowed halls of the university. So whilst Jared knew of him, and recognised him as he passed in the quad, they hadn’t actually spoken one word to each other whilst they were still students at University.

Except the once.

***

2007

Jared was working the graveyard shift. It had been pretty quiet all night: New Year Revellers finding more interesting places to frequent than coffee shops. If Jared had wanted to, he could have stood in the open door of the ‘Bean There, Done That Coffee Shop’ and heard the sound of raucous laughter, music, excited chatter from the street around him. But he steadfastly remained behind the counter, reading his text book, not caring about the time of year.

At around nine o’clock the door opened: the chimes Chad had hung nearby announcing the new arrival. 

Jared looked up to find Jensen Ackles, one of America’s Golden Sons and Bright Star in Harvard’s Firmament standing hesitantly before him looking completely unlike one of America’s Golden Sons and even less like a shining example from the university’s constellation. He looked like complete shit, in fact. An observation that had Jared stunned so badly that it took him several moments to collect himself.

Jensen Ackles was one of the most beautiful people Jared had ever had the privilege to gaze upon. In those brief passing moments, when Jared had crossed paths with Jensen –fleeting as they passed in the halls - Jared had noticed his sheer deliciousness in the same sort of way his eyes would track a Lamborghini when it passed in him in the street – as something to admire but with the knowledge that it was utterly unattainable.

However, the Ackles standing in front of him, whilst still iridescent and transcendent in his loveliness, was missing his usual cool, confident, entitled and insouciant arrogance that could almost force Jared to genuflect on sight. He was red eyed with his broad shoulders curling in on himself, shaking and so nervous that Jared felt a simple hello might shatter his atoms apart should Jared actually get himself together enough to speak to him.

Jared raised an eyebrow in query instead.

“C…can…I…I have a l..l…latte, please?” 

Jared smiled, a little nervously, but able to fall back on his ingrained customer service skills.

“Have in or take out?” he asked.

Jensen gazed, startled, around the café.

“Ummm… in, I guess,” Jensen stuttered.

Jared nodded as he reached for one of the large ceramic mugs.

“Take a seat,” he offered. “I’ll bring it to you when I’m done.”

Taking care not to be caught staring, Jared fixed the drink but kept an eye on the other man none-the-less. Jensen squeezed himself in the corner of the table in the furthest depth of the room. He huddled, looking thoroughly miserable.

When Jared brought the drink over, Jensen seized it as if he had been living in the Sahara for days not walking the streets of Cambridge, Massachusetts. Jared hesitated for a moment and then sat down opposite him.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Jared found the following seconds unnerving as he became the subject of Jensen Ackles intense gaze.

“I’m fine,” Jensen mumbled eventually.

Not convinced, Jared remained seated.

“Is there anything I can do? Anyone I can call for you?” Jared asked next. He didn’t know quite what had upset Jensen so badly but he felt certain the older man shouldn’t be out alone in such a state. Jared might have been guilty of a little envy in the past, but Jensen’s current situation invited concern and pity.

Jensen smiled faintly at the obvious care in Jared’s voice but shook his head.

“I just need the coffee,” he answered more surely.

Jared gazed intently for a moment then shrugged. Sliding out of the seat, he muttered, “well, if you need anything, I’ll be right here,” and he stalked back around the counter. He returned to reading but he was easily distracted every time Jensen made a move.

Once Jared had judged Jensen’s coffee to be low, he quickly made another and took it over to the table. He could see that Jensen had now stopped shaking and was regaining a little of his colour back, which made Jared feel better and the guy responded to the fresh hot caffeine with a stronger smile than before. Jared turned to return to his book and the counter.

“What are you reading?” Jensen’s voice suddenly cut across the silence.

Jared swung back round.

“Nothing special – a text book,” he answered easily.

“Are you a student?” 

Jensen’s face was registering real interest so Jared sat back down.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Law.”

“I’m studying law too,” Jensen replied. Jared so nearly responded with an “I know” but instinctively felt it would better to keep his mouth shut. He bit on the words before they poured out of his mouth.

“Do you like it?” Jensen continued to ask when Jared made no response.

“Yeah – yeah… actually I do,” Jared smiled. “I might bitch about it sometimes, but it’s what I want to do.”

“Did you always want to be a lawyer?” Jensen was frowning a little but his eyes were still bright with curiosity. He was sitting up straighter.

“Ever since I knew what a lawyer was!” Jared laughed a little. “My dad was in and out of trouble so often, that I had an early introduction to the justice system.”

To his credit, Jensen didn’t seem too shocked at Jared’s admission. Most people who met Jared were flummoxed by his complete openness about his past.

“I can’t say that many of the guys who helped Dad were paragons of the profession but I saw enough to know that lawyers could make a difference,” Jared continued encouraged by Jensen’s interest.

“What are you going to do with it? Your law degree?” Jensen asked.

“Mmmm… not sure. DA eventually? Maybe politics,” Jared answered then countered with a question of his own. “What about you?” 

The grimace that crossed Jensen’s face was telling, and then his face set, lips tight and thin, jaw twitching.

“Follow in the family footsteps, I expect. It’s what they all want,” he said just as Jared thought he had wrecked the conversation. There was a bitterness dripping through every cadence in Jensen’s voice.

“What do you want?” Jared pressed.

Jensen’s laugh was humourless.

“Doesn’t matter what I want. Not even allowed a little fun on New Year’s eve.” Jensen lowered his eyes as if he were ashamed, but there was a defiance in his voice all the same. “I just wanted a little fun.”

Jared gazed around the coffee shop. Sure it was a cool place to hang out normally but late on New Year’s Eve?

“I don’t know but I am not sure I would describe it as fun here, particularly tonight. But, hey, you gotta follow your own dreams,” Jared finally stated a little concerned. Jensen smiled but nothing reached his eyes. It was more of a grimace.

“Coffee shops are all the rage for the funnest fun you can have,” Jensen concluded with a smirk and then smiled brilliantly – a true smile this time. “And I am probably too old for the clubs anyway.” 

Jared was caught in the brightness of Jensen’s smile, how it made Jensen look like a young boy rather than the twenty-something he really was, how the lines at the side of his eyes crinkled and the mossy greenness shone with a dancing light. He snorted in disbelief anyway.

“So what did you do wrong, that you ended here on New Year’s Eve?” Jensen continued the conversation.

Jared started to think he had fallen down a rabbit hole. This situation seemed surreal. Just the two of them, in an empty coffee shop at the turn of the year. One of them being Jensen Ackles and the other Mr. Nobody in Particular Padalecki. 

Jared shrugged in response. 

“I’m not really interested in partying – not like the others, and besides, it’s a good time to get a little reading done,” he answered.

“Aren’t you interested in fun?” Jensen countered. Jared wasn’t sure but there was an underlying slyness to Jensen’s tone.

“Define fun,” Jared challenged a little flirtatiously. 

A flare of heat in Jensen’s eyes stirred Jared’s interest. 

“Definitely not the kind of thing my father would approve of,” Jensen answered looking shyly but obviously up through his lashes. The invitation in them was clear.

Jared stared. 

Well, fuck. 

***

Jensen Ackles remembered his first meeting with Jared Padalecki like this. 

He had stormed out of the Ackles brownstone full of rage, and bitterness and hopelessness after yet another monumental row with his father. His intention was to get as drunk and stoned as he possibly could without passing out, and hook up with as many beautiful young things as his dick would allow. Instead he’d stumbled into some coffee shop exhausted and wrung out and straight into Jared Padalecki.

Jared had an almost unnatural confidence in what he was wanting to do and where he was going, a laugh that filled the room which rocked Jensen body and soul, a kaleidoscope of colours, in honest, sincere eyes and care and concern and integrity which made Jensen desperate with thirst for him.

There was a conversation that lasted about thirty minutes, which went from serious for flirty to suggestive. Then there was a back storeroom: gloomy and cramped. An unpainted brick wall, that left scratches and grazes down his back, wordless sounds, deep warmth and rough touches, fingers scrabbling for reach and mouths searching for answers to questions that Jensen was too afraid to ask and slick skin against skin.

It was bliss.

It was also the best fucking fuck he’d ever had.

***

Officially, they met three years later. Jared was lobbying on behalf of the LBGT community, and Jensen, young blood for the newly formed Traditional Values Party, the Republican Party’s puritan but rebellious little brother led by Jensen’s father, stood up for the other side of the college debate.

Jared didn’t recognise the sharp suited, uptight, closed off Jensen Ackles as the conflicted, desperate man who had cried out his pleasure and joy as Jared had sunk his cock deep into his ass. No sign of recognition crossed Jensen’s face as he was introduced to the tall, smiling spokesperson for Boston Pride, but his hands, holding his opposing speech, shook: perhaps with fear, perhaps with remembrance.

Jared said nothing, looked at nothing, tried to think of nothing.

But unbidden, as Jensen spoke of the importance of family, the wrongness of homosexuality, Jared began to grieve. Jensen was brilliant, his arguments sharp, his comebacks pertinent, his demeanour ruthless but artfully sincere. Jared watched from across the stage and wondered whether Jensen had simply given in to his father’s bigoted but forceful personality, or whether he had found his own peace in the policies and philosophy he was now supporting.

Jared’s own arguments were crushed as Jensen came out of the debate victorious. The Traditional Values Party was young, but Jensen was going to be their bright star. Jared congratulated him as they left the stage. Jensen thanked him politely, face impassive. Jared almost began to believe that Jensen had forgotten their back room hook up, but as they shook hands again, Jensen looked him straight in the eyes. And the swirling storm that Jared saw deep inside suggested that Jensen knew perfectly well who Jared was, and how their brief encounter three years ago had gone down. 

***

From: Shepherd, Mark (Padelecki Represents Every One Campaign Manager)

To: Willets, Tom (Democrat Campaign Manager (Massachusetts))

11.21.20 15:35

Tom,  
Ackles’ numbers are down today with Padalecki gaining. As I always say mud sticks.  
Slight complication though – Jared is threatening to stand down. Feels that it’s the only way he can ‘atone’ for the advert as the retraction has only partially nullified the damage done. There’s something going on here but I can’t put my finger on it. We’re working on him, but you might need to have a game plan to up Kane’s profile in case Padalecki actually does it. He’s a loose canon at the best of times but when there is one of his ‘moral’ crusades he is positively unpredictable.

I know Kane backed off because our figures were looking better and it seemed that Jared had the best chance against the Ackles Campaign. But I think, in the circumstances, our deal should be considered null and void.

Cheers,  
Mark

***

Transcript: Telephone conversation between Jared Padalecki and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Leader of the Every One Party) 11. 22. 20 09:45am

JP: Padalecki speaking.  
JDM: Hey, Jay. How are you doing boy?  
JP: Jeff. What do you want?  
JDM: Ouch. That’s no way to treat an old friend!  
JP: If I thought this was a friendly call, then I’d be somewhat more cordial. I’m thinking that bastard Shepherd has been speaking to you.  
JDM: (Pause) Is it right? What he is claiming? You thinking of dropping out?  
JP: Huh… well… look, Jeff… No, I’m not… not really… but… I’m not happy.  
JDM: Is it about that ad?  
JP: Did you sanction that?  
JDM: No! Come on, Jay. You know me better than that.  
JP: This wasn’t how I wanted to run.  
JDM: I know, boy, but we kind of knew what we were taking on when we appointed Shepherd. He’s utterly ruthless but he gets results. I’m sick of running second all the time, and you’re our best chance for a win.  
JP: There’s a difference between ruthless and evil, Jeff. I thought we had sorted this out… we agreed…  
JDM: Yeah, we did, but Beaver’s and Ackles senior’s antics have really affected your approval ratings, and Shepherd needed to do something spectacular.  
JP: So you did approve it!  
JDM: No! Not that advert, not specifically. But we agreed to toughen the campaign or you were going to be gone before we even started. And it worked, Jay. You are doing really well, and catching Ackles quickly.  
JP: Only at the cost of someone’s future. We might be fighting the rise of the religious right, Jeff, but we (at least I thought we were together in this) are not about outing someone against their will.  
JDM: Shepherd wasn’t making anything up – those stories about Ackles are true. We wouldn’t have put out anything that was a lie. Do you honestly want Ackles and the Trad. Val. to win yet another seat? If they get enough power they will make homosexual rights illegal, ban abortion, return women’s rights to those of the early 20th century… etc etc. Do I need to go on?  
JP: I know what is happening, Jeff. I’m making a stand, aren’t I? But to do so whilst destroying someone else’s career is not right.  
JDM: This isn’t about your history with Ackles is it?  
JP: What do you mean?  
JP: You didn’t get to this position without a degree of objectivity about politics, Jay. And you are neither naïve or stupid. But this is an overly emotional response for you, and that makes me concerned. I know that you and Ackles have been up against each other several times in the past. Is there in something going on I should know?  
JP: Jeff…  
JDM: I need you in this election, Jared. This is so important for the Every One party, and you are the best chance we’ve ever had to get a member into congress. Whatever it is between you and Ackles, don’t let it ruin this opportunity and your career.  
JP: This…  
JDM: I’ll rein Shepherd in. You’ve made your retraction and your apology. Leave it to the Ackles’ to get their campaign on track again. Get your head back in the game, Jay. Don’t destroy everything you – we - have fought for. I’ll speak to you later.

End of call

***

Jensen knew his father had arrived long before he was announced. There was a new chill in the air. 

Danneel ran some interference when she allowed their two children to greet their grandfather enthusiastically so Jensen was given a few moments to collect himself. He stood by the window in his study looking out over the narrow cobbled streets, breathing deeply, and that is where his father found him.

Alan Ackles was an imposing man. He had now retired from active politics but, despite his age, he still had the energy and charisma to set up and lead the breakaway Traditional Values Party when the Republican Party began to moderate their own policies. He was also the driving force of Jensen’s campaign, and the person Jensen hated more than anything else.

“What are you going to do about the figures?” Ackles Snr barked at his son without greeting him.

“I thought we were paying Beaver to take care of the figures,” Jensen spat back.

“Don’t try to be funny with me, boy,” Alan responded angrily. “You and your appalling lack of morals have scuppered this campaign, so you are going to have to fix it!”

“This campaign was supposed to be in the bag, Dad. I distinctly remember you saying that I had nothing to worry about. What was the problem? Couldn’t find enough dirt on Padalecki to bench him early enough?” 

“That filthy faggot shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near our government,” Alan snarled back.

“No? But you are happy enough for this filthy faggot to join Congress,” Jensen allowed his anger to show, as he thumped his own chest.

“You’re an Ackles, boy. Not some jumped up trailer trash with a father who did time,” Alan’s face was mottled purple. Jensen momentarily mused on how often his father looked like this when dealing with him. 

“At least he is open and honest. Perhaps that is why people want to vote for him,” Jensen almost hoped that his words would cause an apoplectic fit.

“They are voting for him because you don’t give a shit about your family, Jensen. Do you ever think about Danneel or the children when you’re out there committing your heinous sins? What about your mother who cries herself to sleep at night because her only son is going to hell?”

“Oh give it up, Dad. You don’t give a damn about anything other than your fucking party. All my fucking life it’s been ‘Jensen, don’t show me up; Jensen, do this, do fucking that’. You’re the one that wanted me to stand. You! And you know who I am, what I am!”

Alan stood there chin up, glaring at Jensen, whilst Jensen glowered right back.

“Beaver and I have amended the schedule. You’ve got two days to turn this around. Make sure Danneel is with you at all times. You’ll find a couple of engagements where Sarah and Nathan can accompany you too…”

“I’m not taking the kids. I don’t want them involved…” Jensen interrupted hotly.

“And we’ve rewritten the speech for the Family Centre tomorrow. No more of the wishy-washy sentiments, Jensen. Time to harden up, get off the fence…” Alan turned abruptly and left the room leaving Jensen gaping. He heard his father say his farewells to Danneel and the door to their brownstone slam shut.

Danneel entered the study a little while later.

“We’re not taking the kids,” Jensen promised. 

Danneel hardened her eyes. She was born into the other big political Boston family. She might not be able to stand herself but she liked being in the spotlight and her pedigree was perfect. It’s why the Harris and Ackles’ families had brokered the marriage.

“We’ll do whatever we need to do to get you into Congress, Jensen,” she said firmly. And then she sighed.

“It’s all right. They will be all right,” she softened, because she really did care about her family, even Jensen, but she had ambitions too.

And she was right. His father was right. If he wanted to win this election, Jensen would have to do everything they said.

Trouble is, Danneel was beginning to suspect that Jensen, himself, really didn’t want to win the election

***

2011

Jared was just walking back from the State House when he caught sight of Jensen Ackles sitting in the coffee shop. It was near midnight and cold, and Jensen had just won a seat in the House of Legislature for the State of Massachusetts. Jared stopped still. Jensen should be out celebrating with his campaign team, his family, his fiancée, but here he was sitting hunched up in a coffee shop booth. Jared was transported immediately to a similar event four years ago, and it was that which made him walk into the shop and order a large Cappuccino and then squeeze himself into the seat opposite.

He and Jensen had met several times over the last year. Always professionally. Always cordially. Always distant.

“You must have a penchant for coffee in the middle of the night,” Jared said.

Jensen, who had been staring gloomily into his cup, raised his head suddenly, blanching at first when he recognised Jared and then blushing fiercely red at Jared’s words.

“Don’t you have anywhere better to be?” Jared asked gently. He hadn’t meant to remind Jensen of their first meeting, not intentionally but he had been caught up in the memories.

“Obviously not,” Jensen answered glumly.

“Congratulations,” Jared decided to offer.

“Thanks,” Jensen returned, completely insincerely.

Jared didn’t quite know how to respond to that so sipped his hot coffee carefully.

“I’ve seen you around the State House,” Jensen broke the quiet that had fallen.

“Yeah, I’ve been seconded onto the steering committee for the LGBT legislative think tank,” Jared answered, although he knew that Jensen would have known that. “All that lobbying paid off!”

“You should try and stand for a position in the house,” Jensen suggested. Jared looked for sarcasm or mocking, but found only honesty in Jensen’s words and expression.

“Been thinking about it,” Jared answered, “but it won’t be easy as an openly gay candidate.”

“I guess not,” Jensen muttered into his cup. “But you should try. You’d be good at it!”

Jared stared at Jensen in surprise.

“What?” Jensen questioned. “I’d have been fucking blind or stupid not to notice your work around the city. And we have spent some time standing across a debating stage arguing with each other. I do know the quality of your work!”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me,” Jared grimaced then smiled to show Jensen that he habored no bad feeling. “Nothing like having my arguments pommelled into the ground for making me feel good about myself.” 

Jensen grinned briefly.

“You don’t need to make your arguments, man. Just being your open, honest self is enough. I fully expect you to be president one day.”

“I’ll take the Whitehouse after you’ve had your two terms… There’s no way you’re going to miss out on that experience!” Jared joked.

“Not sure you’d want two terms of a Trad. Val. President, and certainly not me” Jensen countered, this time completely seriously.

Jared supposed Jensen was right, at least about which party he wanted in charge, but was a little bewildered by the bitterness infecting Jensen’s tone. It was almost as if… well, whatever had happened in Jensen’s past, he had assumed that it was just that – in the past. Jensen was engaged now. He was an eloquent if one of the more moderate supporters of his father’s newly formed party. Jared might have been saddened by Jensen’s politics, particularly after their still memorable ‘moment’ four years ago, but he had never doubted Jensen’s sincerity. Until now.

Jensen was watching Jared across the table, a flicker of understanding crossing his face as he watched Jared realise the truth.

“Don’t admire me,” Jensen ordered. “There’s nothing here to respect. I’m one of those career politicians with no convictions.”

For four years, Jared hadn’t seen anything less than a confident, smooth Jensen Ackles rising inexorably up the political ladder. Whatever doubts he had had on that New Year’s Eve seemed to have vanished. The only chink had been flickers of nervousness around Jared, but Jared had just assumed that Jensen was afraid that Jared would say something. He was the rising star that everyone admired, Jared included, even if he violently disagreed with his policies. Jared felt suddenly chilled as he realised that this present day Jensen was actually still the self-doubting, self-hating young man he had fucked in the storeroom of a coffee shop back then.

“What do you really want to be?” Jared asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. 

“I have no idea,” Jensen asked airily, but unable to disguise his fear, as if he was suddenly realising that he was exposing himself. “I used to want to be a doctor or a teacher. I thought they were professions that helped people and that’s what I wanted to do.”

“You don’t think politics can?” Jared argued.

“Not the politics I’ve seen,” Jensen responded. “Do you honestly think that my father is genuinely interested in the common man or woman? No, it’s about power and position, and keeping the family name and honour, screw everyone else.”

Jared was shocked at the hatred in Jensen’s voice.

“And I am just as bad. Turned out that I wasn’t the kind to fight for others either. Family proved to be too important to me too and now it’s too late.” 

Jensen seemed surprised by his own outburst and rose, abruptly, to his feet, knocking his near empty cup over. He breathed a couple of times deeply and then appeared to calm.

“So that was sensible. Spilling my guts out to a rival. Always been told my impetuosity was going to get me into trouble. You could bring me down, you know,” Jensen bent and almost whispered the last bit. Jared gulped.

“I woul…” he began.

“No, I utterly believe you wouldn’t. Perhaps you should, though. You’ve got plenty of ammo. After all, I let you fuck me thirty minutes after first meeting each other. And do you know what?” Jensen lent in even further until his mouth was almost touching Jared’s ear. “I’d let you do it again.”

Jared sat in stunned silence for several moments after Jensen had left the shop. 

As Jared opened the door to leave himself a few minutes later he saw Jensen still standing several metres down the street. He turned to look at Jared expectantly. There was such a naked sense of need and want in his face that he looked like a starving child.

Jared almost followed him.

Almost.

He handed Jensen his card instead. “If you ever want to talk, Jensen…” he said quietly, and then started to move away.

Jensen laughed disappointedly, until it sounded like a sob.

Jared walked away.

***

NOW November 2020 Boston

Transcript: Late Night with Teddy Bozeman 11.23.20

TB: So tonight we had the final debate between the last standing candidates for the race to Congress. After the surprise addition of Chris Kane for the, until recently, largely discounted Democratic Party, it was a three-way battle with a surprisingly subdued Jared Padalecki. Padalecki, standing for the Every One party, is very open about his poor debating skills and usually falls back on his charm, humour and candour to win over the audience. Ackles, the Trad. Val. and Republican candidate, and undisputedly the king of debate seemed more aggressive than usual, devouring, and spitting out Kane’s arguments, but seemed unwilling to tackle Padalecki, with whom he has previously had spirited and lively dialogue. Now we know there is some bad blood between these two. The Ackles campaign has used Padalecki’s late father and extremely liberal views against him in an aggressive way, and Padalecki’s people countered that recently with a smear campaign against Ackles – with accusations that were immediately retracted by Padalecki himself. Expectations were high for this debate, the additional tension perhaps adding to the entertainment value, but ultimately viewers and audience members left disappointed at a very one sided, slightly nasty debate that did nothing to progress our understanding of any of the three main party’s policies. With me tonight to discuss both the policies and performances of the three candidates are Dr….

***

Jared threw himself off the stage, angry as he had ever been and pushed past Matt, who was looking disappointed.

“What was that all about, boss?” Matt asked to his back, as Jared stormed out of the studio, leaving everyone behind.

He was outside in the chilly Boston air before he knew it, breathing deeply, huddled in a corner. He could see a group of drivers huffing and puffing in the cold, laughing and joking as they waited for their clients. The shadows of almost tank-like vehicles lined up in a row towards the main street. 

He shrank further into the shadows as other people tumbled into the alley behind the studio looking for their cars. He watched as the entire Ackles team left in big black limos, and Matt, who had finally given up looking for him, looking surprised to find their own driver still waiting. There was a short conversation as they obviously discussed Jared’s whereabouts before they both left. Matt knew Jared well enough to know that he could take care of himself. 

Kane’s team, newly bolstered by the biggest hitter in the Democratic Party, Tom Willets, followed sedately and quietly. Kane looked vaguely worried. Jared felt sorry for him. He had only taken on the candidacy because, whilst the Democrats wanted a presence in the election, they were, in truth, supporting Jared and the Every One Party. The relationship between the two parties was complicated. Every One had been born out of the more liberal elements of the Democratic party in the face of continuing extremism in the Republican Party, and the rise of the Traditional Values, but the Democrats were still reluctant to completely embrace the off shoot openly, maintaining a determined apathetic stance. Still, in states where the Trad. Val. held good majorities or threatened the sitting democratic incumbent, the democrats were prepared to let Every One fight the moderate corner. It was Jared’s threats to stand down that had caused Willets to descend on Boston and push Kane more into the spotlight. Kane very definitely hadn’t wanted to stand in the election. Previously a good friend, he was probably really pissed with Jared right now. Particularly after the vicious put down Jensen Ackles had just given him.

And, as if thinking about him had conjured him from thin air, there stood Jensen Ackles covered in a long black woollen coat, standing on the edge of the kerb.

“I know you’re still out here, Jay,” Jensen spoke into the seemingly empty alley, and Jared grimaced at how well this man knew him and how well he knew Jensen. Not being able to face Jensen in front of, well, everyone, he had stormed out expecting Jensen to follow him in some way. He stepped out of the shadows, allowing Jensen to catch sight of him.

“What the hell was that?” Jared allowed his anger to rise to the surface. “What the hell did Kane do to deserve that?”

“It’s a debate, Jay. What do you think I was doing?” Jensen shot back, a stormy expression settling on his face.

“That was not debate, Jensen, that was annihilation. I’ve faced you on a debating stage many times, and I’ve always lost, but it’s always been an enjoyable loss because it’s magic watching a master at work. But that wasn’t clever, that was just mean!” Jared huffed.

“Well, you’d know what mean is all about,” Jensen countered raising his voice. “You practically outed me!”

Jared gaped at Jensen, flabbergasted at the hypocrisy, and desperately searching his memory for when he said anything about Jensen’s sexuality. Then he remembered. Jensen was referring to the ad.

“You and your daddy have just spent months trying to destroy my good name and reputation (bringing my father into it, really Jen?), and you’re offended by one promotional video? Jesus, Jensen, get some perspective.”

“So you admit it, you did approve the video…” Jensen started.

“No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t, and you’d know that if you ever really knew me,” Jared interrupted hotly. “Don’t you dare try to pin that on me. I’m sorry it happened but Shepherd acted without my say so and I have tried to put it right ever since. Don’t blame me for that one, or take out your anger on other people. Kane didn’t deserve what you did to him tonight, you barely even let him finish his turn. It wasn’t his fault that you’re pissed with me. You practically ignored me in there and made fun of someone who was merely trying to do his job!” 

Jensen opened his mouth to continue, but snapped it shut. Jared watched Jensen deflate as his anger drained away. He looked so fucking miserable, that Jared’s own rage softened. It didn’t disappear – he had spent too many years being angry at Jensen, wearing it like he wore his clothes – but some of the hotness of it cooled.

“What the hell are you doing, Jensen?” he said more softly.

“I’m trying to mend the damage that video did. I know you apologised and retracted the accusations but mud sticks, Jared, and my numbers have fallen. So excuse me if I act to put it right, and try to save my campaign.” Jensen wasn’t so angry himself now, but he was clearly agitated.

“Why?” Jared asked. “You don’t want this. You have never wanted this. You don’t even believe in the lies you speak on daily basis...”

“You don’t understand, Jay,” Jensen cried out in anguish.

“No, I don’t, Jen, because you won’t fucking tell me. If this makes you so miserable then walk away.” Jared could see the longing in Jensen’s face, the desperation in his eyes. Jared sometimes thought Jensen was a coward, but he knew that there was some underlying reason for it. Respected the reason, if he were honest. In all the years he had known Jensen, and however close Jensen had got to breaking away, there was something there that drew him reluctantly and unwittingly back to his family and to his father. Nothing Jared had ever been able to say or do, had been able to break through that twisted bond and, however many times Jared had created opportunities for Jensen to explain it, Jensen had simply shut down, leaving Jared no choice but to walk away.

“It’s always been easy for you. No-one cared what you did. There’s never been any pressure for you to be anything other than who you wanted to be,” Jensen countered.  
Jared narrowed his eyes, his anger flaring again.

“The only person who can put pressure on you, Jensen, is you. Tell your father to fuck off, take a couple of years out to sort your fucking head out, then do what you want to do. Stop being such a fucking coward and hypocrite,” Jared started walking away. They always ended up hurting each other.

“That’s right, walk away again, Jared. You are always walking away!” Jensen called out after him. Jared whirled round to face him. His gut clenched as he saw fear in Jensen’s face.

“What do you expect, Jensen? I can’t keep doing this. It’s killing me. You know you are better than this – you’re not the prejudiced, narrow-minded person your family portrays you as. I’ve watched you forward Trad. Val. policies for years, but you’ve always been able to unpick the mean, hateful elements. I’ve seen you accept and befriend people unconditionally regardless of race, colour, creed. You are not the malicious man that your father is – but you’re so in thrall to him and you are losing your way, turning into him. I can’t keep allowing you to kick out at me, because of your own inadequacies. You want help – you want me – then you know where to find me, but leave the bullshit behind.”

Jared turned, his feet quickly leading him out of the alley and into the lights of the street. He didn’t turn to look back at Jensen.

***

“Your father is on the war path,” Danneel said quietly as she took his coat.

“When is he not?” Jensen answered grimly.

“Not sure that your performance tonight was quite what he was thinking when he asked you put things right,” Danneel pushed. “Kane is not even much of a rival. Not even sure what he was doing there – I thought he had practically pulled out.”

Jensen shrugged.

“Kids in bed?” he asked, getting a brief nod in reply.

“Padalecki is your main opponent and you barely spoke two words to him. What’s going on, Jenson?” 

“Jesus, Danni, just let it lie.”

“Were you afraid he had more evidence against you? But he wouldn’t have done that, would he? He retracted his statement,” she questioned.

“No, he wouldn’t do that,” Jensen answered quietly. He looked away, uncomfortable under Danneel’s astute gaze.

“Jensen,” she began uncertainly, “has something ever happened between you? Is this what this is all about?”

“I asked you to give it up, Danni. Just let me be. I’m going to just check in on the children and then go to bed. I’ll face my father in the morning, I just need some rest now.”

Danneel took a step back, as he brushed past her and up the stairs. Suddenly she was afraid for her family. Jensen had become increasingly strung out over the campaign. She was trying to understand his strange reluctance to stand for Congress but now wondered if standing opposite Jared Padalecki was a key reason. She had given up a lot to become Mrs. Jensen Ackles – their families expected much, and Jensen’s proclivities had made things all the much harder – but she had fought determinedly to ensure the Harris and Ackles maintained their good name and importance in the political arena. She had never seen Jensen so on the edge. Not one to prevaricate, Danneel hung the coat up and resolved to find Ackles Snr.

***

2015 Aspen

The death of Jared’s father had been surprisingly difficult for Jared. He had barely seen the man over the last few years but the relief of never having to deal with the man’s shit again, and regret at how things had ended between them, warred in his mind, distracting him until Jeffrey Dean had suggested that Jared take some time out to grieve and offered him the use of his cabin on the outskirts of Aspen. It wasn’t skiing season, so the town was pretty quiet, but it would give Jared space to come to terms with essentially becoming an orphan and finally being free from his guilt ridden obligations to a man who never did help himself.

What he hadn’t realised was that Jeff’s cabin was just down the road from a property that the Ackles’ owned. A fact he hadn’t really worried about until he saw Jensen Ackles in the bar down the street with a familiar blond girl. It wasn’t so much the sight of Jensen that disturbed him. He and Jensen saw each other a lot in the State House through work, but the laughing, carefree Jensen he saw sat relaxed against the green leatherette bench was something he had never seen before and he was captivated.

He tried to be as inauspicious as possible, but Jensen finally caught sight of him, a quick shot of shock in his eyes before he relaxed again and waved him over. Jared took three breaths to calm himself and then approached the table.

Jensen introduced his friend as Katie, and Jared recognised her as one of the interns based at the State House. He thought she perhaps worked in the Trad. Val office. She looked very uncomfortable under Jared’s assessing gaze, and made her excuses as quickly as she could, leaving the two men sitting nursing beers.  
“Beats a coffee house,” Jensen began. Jared paused before laughing nervously.

“I heard about your father,” Jensen continued gently. 

Jared shrugged. “It’s not like I saw him very much,” he answered.

“Still…” Jensen went on. They fell into a comfortable silence as they both drank from their glasses.

“So what are you doing here?” Jared asked, pointedly looking at Katie’s abandoned, half empty glass.

Jensen barked out a laugh, “Not what you are thinking,” he responded.

“Not sure what I am thinking,” Jared said. He knew that Jensen had been married eighteen months ago, and that his wife was now pregnant. He wasn’t convinced that Jensen was a womaniser either whatever finding Jensen and Katie here in Aspen suggested to him.

“Katie had some stuff going on, and needed a break,” Jensen offered but was obviously not going to divulge anything further.

Jared continued to look at him doubtfully, an eyebrow raised. Jensen shifted uncomfortably and gave the nervous laugh this time.

“Come on, Jared. You, out of everyone, knows I’m gay. Right?” Jared didn’t know that for certain. He assumed that Jensen was bisexual but all evidence in the past couple of years suggested that Jensen had settled for good, clean hetero living.

“However…” Jensen started carefully, “Katie would prefer it if you didn’t mention seeing her here.”

Jared was even more puzzled but readily agreed. He wasn’t in the business of spilling anyone’s secrets, which he hoped Jensen knew and understood. Particularly now he had confirmation from Jensen’s own mouth, that his marriage was a sham.

“So about that amendment on the gay marriage ruling…” he mentioned, a small smile crossing his face.

Jensen’s eyes widen in surprise and then he grinned. 

“What about it?” Jensen answered.

***

They spent the next couple more hours downing several beers and pulling apart the latest state legislature on equal rights for homosexuals, fixing how the state was going to meet the needs of Obamacare and exploring the ideas in the new education curriculum. It was a productive few hours and both of them felt that concessions that they both had made in this small bar in Aspen might help the next few weeks at State go more smoothly. Jared had always enjoyed debating with Jensen, even if he could never win the argument and had to rely on appealing to people’s better natures (something he was very good at), but this time, the conversation had been more two-sided. Jensen was in a negotiating mood, and seemed more moderate than membership of his Daddy’s exceedingly immoderate party suggested.

When Jared mentioned that to Jensen, Jensen had simply shrugged.

“I agree on small government, Jared, encouraging people to make their own way, and that seems more significant than who can marry who. That’s the main thrust of conservative politics whatever the media thinks.”

“But you’re gay, and, I assume, bearding, to keep yourself firmly locked inside your closet because you belong to a party who actively fights against rights for gays. And what about women’s rights? And are you really against universal healthcare? What about people who cannot work for good valid reasons?” Jared couldn’t get his head around what he knew about Jensen and Jensen’s stand for Traditional Values.

“There are lots of things I do not support in the Trad. Val. manifesto, but as key member, I am in a unique position to help instigate and encourage change from the inside – taking some of the more extreme ideas and making them less… well… less unpleasant. And, as I said, there are lots of policies that I do wholeheartedly support,” Jensen explained but Jared wasn’t convinced.

“Really? So those trips to coffee shops weren’t crises of conscience?” Jensen had the decency to look embarrassed.

“I might sometimes doubt myself,” Jensen answered weakly. “And Danni and I might have an… um… unconventional marriage, but I am not hiding behind her. My sexuality is my business and my business alone. It’s not something I want broadcast around the country. The important people in my life know and that’s enough.”

Jared hummed disbelievingly. “Your programme supporting Return to Work for young men just out of Juvie isn’t a typical Trad. Val. policy. You were vocal in begging for state funding to keep that women’s shelter open – passionately so, despite your own father’s opposition to it. I just think you are politically more aligned to a liberal party and I can’t understand why you would to associate with anyone who uses God as an excuse to marginalise people who don’t agree that the Bible isn’t a manifesto for living in a modern world.”

Jensen shifted uncomfortably, but chuckled anyway.

“Trying to recruit me, Padalecki?”

“I wish, but no… you are entitled to belong to whichever party you want. I just don’t understand,” Jared said softly.

“It’s complicated,” Jensen answered, and suddenly the atmosphere was awkward. “Let’s not talk politics any more.” 

Jared noticed then that the calm Jensen who had been laid back and smiling when he first entered the bar, had disappeared and been replaced with the usual uptight one and he was sorry. He smiled at Jensen.

“Sure,“ he agreed, and offered to get another drink.

“Thanks, but I better get back to Katie,” Jensen responded, with a touch of reluctance. 

They walked back up the mountainside reminiscing about their very different experiences at Harvard. They were soon laughing out loud as they traded stories of practical jokes and sticky situations. Jared was pleased to see Jensen relax again. He liked making Jensen laugh, making his eyes sparkle in merriment.  
They said their farewells at the gate to Jeff’s drive.

Jensen had been a revelation to Jared this evening. He still found reconciling all the different Jensen’s he had seen difficult– the fragile, broken man with no direction, the assured, confident politician, the philanthropist working on projects close to Jared’s own heart - but the down-to-earth open man he had met and drunk with tonight had been something different, and he wondered if this was the real Jensen underneath the all the layers.

If it was, then he really liked this Jensen.

***

Katie had bumped into him in the Mall. 

Jared was wandering aimlessly looking for a light jacket as the ones he had brought with him were all too heavy for the unseasonably warm weather Colorado was throwing at him. He hadn’t had much success, but he had run into Katie outside a jewellers as he coveted the Rolex in the window. He was making a good living for himself now, but he still didn’t have the funds to waste on a $10,000 watch.

“Hey, Mr. Padalecki,” Katie had greeted him. Pleading with her to call him Jared, he asked her to join him for a coffee. She looked nervous but agreed anyway.

“I just wanted to assure you that I won’t say a word about seeing you here with Jensen,” Jared promised a few moments after their coffees had arrived. Katie snorted her drink as she looked both relieved and then worried.

“Did Jensen tell you?” she asked.

“He didn’t tell me anything,” Jared reassured her, “but he did ask me to keep meeting you under wraps. It’s not my business to know why.”

Katie looked as though she was thinking carefully.

“I had an abortion,” she finally said. “I work for the Trad. Val. Party and I knew that I would be fired if anyone found out that I had gotten pregnant. Do you remember Tracey Wood? Mr. Ackles Snr was alarmingly angry when she became pregnant, told her she was undermining the good name of the Trad. Values Party and that she would go to hell: threatened her with never being able to work again as she was sinful woman. He was super scary even though she was engaged and had been with Mike for years. So I was terrified when I found out I was having a baby too, particularly since it was an accident after a one night stand. I got rid of it!”

“Jesus, Katie,” Jared muttered.

“I know – worst mistake of my life. I made the decision without thinking and I so regret it. I’ve been kind of depressed,” Katie continued to explain.

“I’m not surprised,” Jared couldn’t help interjecting.

“Anyway, Jensen found me crying in the office a couple of weeks ago. I thought he would be like his father, and throw me out, but he was really nice. He got me in touch with this counselling service, and made sure I took some vacation time, giving me the keys to the villa here. He turned up three days ago. He often comes down here to take some time out. I felt a bit awkward at first but he’s been really nice.”

Katie took another sip of her latte, her hand shaking slightly.

“So I thank you for promising not to say anything. He’s been covering for my absence at work and I wouldn’t want to repay his kindness by getting him into trouble. ” Katie’s large grey eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you found some help. Jeez, Ackles Snr is a piece of work, isn’t he?” Jared mused.

Katie shrugged, and soon finished her coffee. She waved briefly at Jared as she left, eyes warm.

Jared sat for a while contemplative. 

He couldn’t deny that he was attracted to Jensen. Sometimes he wanted him with a fierceness that scared him. He also couldn’t deny that Jensen was everything he abhorred about politics – a hypocrite and a liar supporting intolerant and human rights abusing policies. But the Jensen he met last night, the Jensen that Katie talked about, the Jensen that wipes the floor with his opponents with a smooth charm, the open and honest troubled gay man, was beginning to dominate his thoughts, and dreams.

***

NOW November 2020 Boston

Return of dirty tricks campaign USA Today editorial 11.24.20

… and the fight over Massachusetts got dirtier than ever this morning with the respected Rev. Jonathon White coming out to support Traditional Values Candidate Jensen Ackles by attacking Every One opponent, Jared Padalecki. Ackles, the son of the great Trad.Val. patriarch Alan Ackles, and already considered a possible candidate for the presidency in 2028, has already linked Padalecki to the crime syndicates in Texas, through his late father who died in prison serving a fifteen year sentence for money laundering, fraud and GBH. In yesterday’s Boston Herald, however, the Rev. White fulminated on Padalecki’s choice of lifestyle. Whilst he was careful not to use Padalecki’s homosexuality against him (something the candidate has never denied) he did highlight Padalecki’s continued status as a single man in a state where gay marriage is still legal, and the rumors that Padalecki indulges in promiscuous behaviour, following the release of compromising photographs of Padalecki taken when he was frequenting the infamous “Blue Room” nightclub a few nights ago…

***

Jensen threw up for the second time in a week when he realised what his father had done.

The argument that followed was monumental.

At some point he realised that Alan had acted because of concerns that Danneel had expressed to his father about a possible relationship between Jensen and Padalecki.

Jensen walked out of the brownstone and wasn’t seen again that day. Or the next.

Ackles Snr cancelled all the appearances for that day, claiming that Nathan Ackles, Jensen’s two year old son, had fallen sick, and that his father didn’t want to leave his son’s side.

***

From: JenAckles  
To: JPad  
11.25.20 21:03  
I need you, Jay. Please.

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
11.25.20 21:13  
Where the hell are you? 

From: JPad  
To: JenAckles  
11.25.20 21:15  
Tell me where you are. I’ll pick you up.

***

2015 April Aspen

When Katie returned to Boston, Jensen showed no inclination to return with her. Jared found him on the doorstep of Jeff’s cabin the following morning, dressed casually in sports gear. 

“I’m heading up into the mountains for a hike. Wanna come?” Jensen asked with a wide smile. Jared cursed inwardly because his fascination for Jensen was getting out of hand, but he didn’t seem to be able to turn him down.

So he found himself striding out breathlessly across mountain meadows following an unreasonably fit Jensen. Jared thought he took care of himself but the climb had exhausted him. Jensen hadn’t been very talkative at first, but proved to be an interesting companion when he started to point out interesting plants and features in the landscape.

“Didn’t know you were a geologist?” Jared gently teased after Jensen had explained some weird rock formation to him.

Jensen flushed, dropping his head a little.

“No, don’t get embarrassed,” Jared laughed, captivated by how the delicate pink in Jensen’s cheeks made him even more beautiful. “It’s cool that you know this stuff.”

“I used to come out here with Grandpa Shaffer,” Jensen admitted. “He taught me.”

“Sounds like he was a fantastic Grandfather,” Jared prompted.

“Yeah, well, he was,” Jensen said and then clammed up. Clamming up was becoming a pattern of behaviour for Jensen that Jared was beginning to recognise. He’d open up and relax, chatter away about something until something personal came up and then he would shut down. Jared liked the talkative, laid back Jensen and wasn’t ashamed to use every devious and charming skill he had to keep Jensen open and happy. It wasn’t easy.

After a picnic, Jared lay back in the grass and stared at the sky. He was full and content, and nearly dropping off to sleep when Jensen spoke.

“My grandfather wasn’t like anyone else in the family,” Jensen said quietly. Jared rolled over onto his side and looked at Jensen who was sat up, arms wrapped round his knees, staring down into the valley. “He didn’t have any ambitions. He lived quietly here in Aspen working as a guide and ski-instructor.”

“Wow,” Jared marvelled at the information. “I thought your whole family were born running for the presidency!”

“Nearly,” Jensen answered with a small laugh. “Grandpa Shaffer was the odd one out. Married the wrong woman, of course. My grandmother was desperately ambitious – her father had been Aspen’s Mayor…”

“Ah, that sounds more like it,” Jared interrupted.

“Shut up! You want to hear about my Grandfather or not?” Jensen softened his words with a smile.

“I absolutely do – keep talking, Ackles,” Jared responded.

“Unfortunately for my Grandmother, my Grandfather was also devastatingly handsome, and for a while she was infatuated with him. Lasted long enough for a quick marriage and the conception of my mother, but not much longer. When she realised that he had no wish to further her agenda by using his face and charm, she basically cut him off. Ran all the way to Boston with my Mother and left him here to carry on with his quiet life. I only got to know him when I was sent here for several months when Dad was running the Republican campaign of 1996 and… well… when other things got in the way of my parents well-ordered lives…” Jensen’s voice started to trail off and Jared jumped in quickly to stop Jensen from shutting down completely.

“You enjoyed being here?” he asked. 

“I loved it. We went camping, hiking, fishing. And he talked to me, listened to me and was interested in me. I think he had been so sad at losing his daughter, and family, that he was overjoyed to be able to share his life with his grandson. I tried so hard to persuade my parents to let me stay with him but they wanted me back. I guess they felt he was a terrible influence, which he was in a way, and then he had an accident not long after I left – he fell when climbing, died instantly – and they didn’t have to worry about his influence again.”

Jensen’s voice was sorrowful, but he physically shook himself and turned towards Jared.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get all maudlin on you.”

“I like hearing about your Grandfather. Is he where you get your good looks from?” Jared teased carefully. Jensen huffed a little but not because he was annoyed.

“Yeah, Grandmother always said I did – she wasn’t very happy about it. Josh always said that was why she never really liked me. Not that I could have done anything about it.”

Jared chuckled a little and then rolled back over onto his back. There were a few wispy clouds crossing the pale blue sky and he watched them lazily as he thought about Jensen’s story.

“Who’s Josh?” he suddenly asked.

Jensen’s shutters came down immediately.

“No-one,” he answered coldly, and got up quickly to his feet. “We’d better be getting back.”

Jared was distressed at the change. He stuttered an apology, not knowing what he had done or said.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen brushed the apology aside carelessly, but seemed to calm a little. 

They packed the picnic things up quickly and without saying a word. Jared felt very uncomfortable, but as they heaved their packs onto their backs, Jensen relented a little.

“We’ll go back down the old cattle path, and I’ll show you where we used camp,” he suggested.

Jared nodded uncertainly and followed Jensen as he started to stride down the slope.

***

Both the following days found Jensen at Jared’s door early with a plan for another activity. They had fun kayaking down the river and mountain biking through the forest. Each day, Jensen had packed a picnic and they spent a couple of hours relaxing and talking over their lunch. Jensen didn’t volunteer any more personal information, and Jared soon learnt to keep any discussion of personal politics short and light in nature. At no point did he raise their own past history either – the fuck in the back room and Jensen’s rejected offer four years later. But still they found plenty to discuss as they argued, without rancour, about solutions to the world’s ills, and discussed music, movies, and books. Jared was actually surprised at how much they had in common, despite the light-hearted discussions, and he still maintained, although he said nothing, that Jensen was really a liberal at heart.

On the second day, and sore from the miles of biking (where did Jensen get his stamina from?), Jared heaved himself out of Jensen’s silver SUV after Jensen had parked across the drive to Jeff’s cabin. He muttered a farewell but was interrupted by Jensen.

“You want to have some supper?” Jensen asked shyly.

Jared locked eyes with Jensen.

“Give me an hour and come up to the villa. I’m only gonna cook up some pasta but I’m not a bad chef,” Jensen’s voice was carefully light, but his eyes were suggesting something else.

“You cook?” Jared asked. 

“Who else has been preparing the picnics you’ve been eating?” Jensen questioned back, still holding Jared’s gaze.

“I’m impressed.” Suddenly a thought occurred to Jared and he tipped his head in question. “Is it just supper or is this a euphemism for something else?” 

A wave of heat rolled down Jared’s body as Jensen’s eyes darkened. 

“Is there anything else you want apart from supper?” Jensen’s voice dropped into a sultry huskiness, eyes intent on Jared.

“What else is on offer?” Jared countered a little breathlessly.

“Are we going to keep answering each other with questions all evening?” Jensen suddenly asked in exasperation.

Jared grinned, his full dimpled, blinding grin. Jensen gulped hard and Jared felt a swell of smugness. 

“I don’t know. Are we?” Jared responded.

“One hour, Padalecki,” and Jensen revved the engine hard. Jared was still grinning when he slammed the door shut, mouthing one hour through the tinted glass.

***

Jared was expecting the Ackles’ villa to be a massive mansion so he was very surprised to find a simple two storey property behind the high walls and security cameras. It was small, and simply furnished.

“I had to tear down the fencing and put up walls after some photographers broke in and took pictures of my little sister sunbathing last year,” Jensen explained, “but otherwise the house is nearly as my Grandfather left it.”

“This was his house?” Jared gasped.

“No, I lied. It belonged to the King of Siam! What’s with all the questions, Padalecki?” Jensen sounded abrupt but he looked amused. “Yes, it was his house and now it’s mine – Gramps left it to me! Come on through.”

The house had two rooms downstairs on either side of the hallway and staircase. Jensen took Jared through to a large open kitchen/dining room with a rustic dining table and chairs and a plain simple kitchen. There was a pan of something that smelled so delicious bubbling on the oven that Jared’s stomach rumbled. Jensen nodded to a chair then pottered about the kitchen for a few moments before placing a large bowl of pasta and red sauce in front of him. They ate without talking, just a few compliments to the chef and some moans of delight at the deliciousness of the food to break up the silence.

“You weren’t kidding about being able to cook, were you, Ackles?” Jared said admiringly, as they finished. Jensen blushed and looked pleased at the compliment. Then he cleared the table, tidying the kitchen clutter, before sitting back down next to Jared.

“I want you to just listen to me for a few moments,” Jensen said.

Jared didn’t reply, suddenly and unaccountably nervous.

“You know the score. I’m married – hell, in a couple of months I’ll be a father. I know that you don’t agree with how I am living my life, but my wife knows me, knows that I am gay and knows that sometimes I need… uh… I need… something more than she can give me. She is happy with that providing I am discrete. I’m not looking for anything significant. I can’t. You know my opinion on that and how I want to run my life. 

But I want you. Want you more than I have ever wanted anyone else in my life, and have done ever since we first met. Seeing you every day in that fucking place has been driving me wild with frustration, remembering... Plus you’ve seen me at my worst, you know that my public persona is a lie and that I am a hopeless hypocrite in so many ways, and yet you are still here, and I think we are friends. I hope we are friends. I trust you. And I know that they are all good reasons for you to walk away now, because you are everything I am not. But I want you to stay, and I want you to fuck me again but I need to be honest with you. I can’t offer you anything more than I can give you now, and I cannot make any promises.”

Jared’s mouth was dry. He wasn’t any kind of a saint. He’d never had a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months. Didn’t need to. He enjoyed his own company and when he needed to talk, he had good friends to call on. He was good looking and charming enough to get willing bodies for when he hungered for sex. Why would he want anything else?

But Jensen was different. Had always been different. What should have been a meaningless coupling, had left a scar, a deep longing for something that Jared couldn’t have described until these last few days. Perhaps his lack of desire for commitment from others was directly related to this sense that he and Jensen were unfinished business, as though something had started to bind them together in that coffee shop eight years ago and had neither unravelled through time and distance nor finished completing the knot. Each encounter since, although sometimes baffling and painful as Jensen spilled out his misery, or arousing and awe-inspiring as those times Jared watched Jensen work, had merely complicated the tie. 

After these last few days, Jared was beginning to recognise his feelings now as love, knew he was falling in love, and knew it was only going to cause him pain. He knew that he should do exactly what Jensen thought he should do – walk away. But Jared couldn’t. He knew it was a terrible, awful idea to tangle himself even further in Jensen’s already overly complicated life, but he didn’t think he was strong enough to say no.

“Jay?” Jensen’s voice was small, nervous, barely more than a whisper.

“Okay,” Jared said, voice rough, heart full, cock raging hard against the zipper of his pants.

***

It was as if they were back in that coffee shop. The coffees had been drunk, the flirting and innuendo had faded to nothing. Jared knew he should let Jensen go, but instead he had risen to lock the front door, and turn the sign to closed. He had held out his hand to Jensen, who had taken it willingly and followed him without a word into the storeroom. Jared had pushed him hard against the brick wall, mouth devouring Jensen’s with the ferocity of a starving man.

This time it was Jensen who held out his hand, and Jared who followed up the stairs, but it was still Jared who tackled Jensen to the wall impatiently and seized his mouth with a growl of possessiveness. It was Jared again who tore Jensen’s clothes off with no regard, just as he had ripped Jensen’s jeans down to his ankles then. It was Jared who shoved his fingers into Jensen’s mouth to get them wet enough to force them into Jensen’s ass for a perfunctory opening up before thrusting his cock into Jensen’s heat with one hard push. Jensen had cried out then too, overcome with the pleasure in the pain and unable to be aware of anything other than how full, how hard, how amazing, and please, God, please, Jared, harder, deeper. As then, Jensen gave up everything, and just allowed himself to feel, and came harder than he had ever done before, thick ropes of white decorating Jared’s dark blue button up, as Jared, crying out, pumped his own release deep inside Jensen. 

This time though, Jensen didn’t stumble away, embarrassed, cum oozing out of his hole and down his leg, with a bitter sweet ache that reminded him of Jared every time he sat for the next several days (the ghost of which haunted his dreams and fantasies for the next eight years). And Jared hadn’t been left hollowed out and empty, sitting at the back booth until the light started to break through the darkness, feeling as though something vital had been ripped away from his soul.

This time, Jared pulled out carefully and kissed Jensen again. Gently this time, tasting him, as he slowed his breathing down, and calmed the frantic want in his head. This time, his hands were given time to explore, to worship. He steered a nearly insensate Jensen to the bed, pushing him carefully onto the covers. He stood back to remove his own clothes, but allowed his eyes to wander avidly over Jensen’s pale gold skin, and sprinkling of spice colored freckles. He tracked the cut of his hips, the dark blond trail of hair, to Jensen’s softening cock, a smudge of cum still clinging to the tip, and back up to a well-defined stomach muscles and a strong chest and then on to the most beautiful face he had ever seen and eyes liquid and luminous looking back at Jared with desire, and need, and want… 

This time, Jared took his time to learn the ways Jensen’s body could be made to sing, the way Jensen arched as his fingers tracked through his own fluid leaking from Jensen’s hole, the way Jensen shivered when Jared’s lips brushed over his nipples, the way Jensen’s face scrunched with pain as Jared entered him again, and the way the pain transformed into ecstasy and bliss as Jared pumped the entire length of his cock slowly and deliberately, stringing out both their pleasures, holding back their orgasms until neither of them could think, or speak, or sense. 

As they climaxed again, Jared tasted salt and realised that he was silently crying. Jensen lay looking up at him in wonder, as he brushed a tear from Jared’s cheek. He didn’t say a word, but drew Jared close and wrapped him in his arm, and eventually they both slept, Jared’s cock softening but still lodged inside Jensen.

***

NOW November 2020 Boston Eve of the election 

There wasn’t a soul on Long Wharf. The boats clinkered and rocked, lights dancing on the water, watched over by the bulk of the darkened Aquarium but there wasn’t a person in sight. 

Jared walked to the far end of the wharf and stared out over water towards the black shadows of the islands in the harbor. His hands were deep in the pockets of his coat, but not because it was cold. The night was surprisingly warm still after a day of sunshine. No, his hands were shaking for another reason and he didn’t trust them not to give away the depth of emotion he was feeling.

He sensed rather than heard Jensen approaching, but didn’t turn round. He didn’t trust any part of himself not to betray him. Thirteen years. It had taken Jensen thirteen years to finally ask for help and Jared didn’t know what to do with that, not really. Falling down on his knees and begging Jensen to come back to him, to love him, wasn’t an solution.  
The two of them stood for many minutes without a sound, without even acknowledging each other’s presence. Finally, when Jared could bear it no longer he took a long look at Jensen.

Jensen looked awful. Even in the orange glow of the street lamps, Jared could see how pale and how drawn Jensen was, how dark and hollow his eyes looked, how hunched up and in pain he seemed, and he could see the shivers that shook his frame. Jensen was greatly agitated.

“Danni knows about you, about us,” Jensen finally spoke out. “Rev. White is my father’s response to being informed.” Jared knew without doubt that Ackles Snr already knew about him, and so did Jensen. But he let the lie go.

“I don’t care about that,” Jared huffed in total frustration. “Although it explains why Beaver called me to ask if I knew where you were. Jesus that really must have made him sick. Where the hell were you, Jen? Two days. Two days, you’ve been missing.”

Jensen shook his head, “I don’t know… walking.”

“Have you eaten? Slept?” Jared asked, concern mounting as Jensen shook his head again.

“Fucking hell, Jensen. Have you got any idea what panic you’ve caused by running off?” Jensen snorted in disbelief. Jared felt a brief surge of anger before becoming overwhelmed with sadness.

“People care about you,” he said trying to keep his voice calm. Jared didn’t need to see to know that this time Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Fuck you!” he cried as this time the anger overcame any other emotion. “I care! I’ve been fucking sick with worry. You haven’t got a fucking clue, Jensen, have…” but he let the words die as Jensen started crumpling to the ground.

“Jesus, fuck, Jensen,” Jared leapt towards Jensen catching him before he sank completely into to the sidewalk. Jensen was shaking, his whole body wracked with sobs. “Fucking, fucking, fucking hell.” Jared continued to curse as he wrapped his whole body around Jensen, cradling him, and protecting him as they both sat on the chilly ground. They sat there a long while, Jensen clinging desperately as he cried bitter, angry and grief-stricken tears into Jared’s coat.

Eventually, the sobs ceased and Jared, bones clicking and muscles pulling from long exposure to the chilly tarmac was able to move them both to a bench. He tried to persuade Jensen to go home with him, but Jensen got distressed, and Jared had to back down. So, the bench it was. He kept a firm hold on Jensen though, pulling him into his warmth.

“Did you tell anyone you’d heard from me?” Jensen finally asked.

“Do I need to?”

“No, I just want… I’ve got some things I need to tell you. I need to try to make you understand and then I’ll be going back,” Jensen still wouldn’t, couldn’t, look Jared in the eye, and at these words, he turned his head further away still.

Jared fought hard not to respond, but a growl of frustration escaped nonetheless.

“I know you don’t think I should,” Jensen said, “But I am not as strong as you.”

Jared wisely held his tongue, but now Jensen was calmer, he untangled their embrace and moved further away. Jensen whimpered a little and made a move to follow Jared. He stopped before Jared had to say anything. Jared knew that his disapproval, his anger, must be written all over his face. What was Jensen doing? Asking for help on the one hand, and deciding to return to his family with the other? 

“What is it you want to tell me?” Jared asked, although he just wanted to run at this point. He couldn’t do this anymore. He had spent too long wrapped up in the pain of loving Jensen. Every time he gained a little hope, Jensen seemed to snatch it away from him.

When Jensen didn’t say anything for a few moments, Jared felt his patience wear thin and started to get up.

“No, please stay. Just for a little while,” Jensen begged. Jared sat back down. He had always found it hard to refuse Jensen but he was beginning to hate himself for it.

“I knew I wasn’t like the rest of my family, even when I was very small. They all had this drive, this ambition, this competitive spirit. Even as children, Josh and Mackenzie would be ruthless when playing board games as if winning was massively important. I didn’t get it. Still don’t,” Jensen spoke clearly, with only a small tremor in his voice. “I didn’t care if I won or lost, but I was clever enough to often win which used to make Josh so mad, that I would deliberately lose just to keep the peace, to keep him happy.”

“Who’s Josh?” Jared asked fearfully for the second time in his life. It wasn’t so hard to guess now, but he wanted Jensen to work for his understanding.

“Josh? Josh is, was my brother, my older brother,” Jensen answered simply this time, not shutting down as he had before. “He was the favourite one. He was the typical Ackles in many ways, looked just like Dad and he wanted to be president one day just like Grandpa Ackles. My parents’ pride and joy. Everyone’s pride and joy. Mine too… I adored him, looked up to him. My big brother. And he looked out for me too. Didn’t understand me but cared for me anyway.

"Trouble is, he wasn’t terribly smart – he was typical jock. I was way more intelligent, and Dad resented me for it. All these brains but absolutely no drive to use them to perpetuate the Ackles’ political ambitions. I had grown up seeing political power used for personal gain – it was all about the winning, the competition for them, and I wanted none of it. I wanted to be a doctor, to use my brains for something helpful for others. That’s fucked up right? Most parents are proud if a child wants to be a doctor. Josh used to protect me quite a lot from my father’s disappointment. Despite his own ambitions, he recognised mine.

"I don’t know if Josh could have become president – it’s not like we haven’t had a dumb as shit president before, and I daresay, the full weight of the mighty Ackles clan would have shored him up.”

“What happened?”

“He died,” Jensen fell silent for a while. There was catch in his voice when he continued. “Stupid, dumb asshole got behind the wheel of a car when fucked out of his face and drove into a tree. He was sixteen years old.”

“Was that when you were sent to Aspen?” Jared questioned.

Jensen looked up in surprise, as if he had forgotten that Jared knew that about him.

“Yes. Neither of my parents could stand to look at me after. The wrong son died, you see, and they were left with the dud. Plus they had a campaign to fight and Dad was in charge. Nothing like a political scrap to put the loss of a son in perspective.” Jensen was very bitter. “They packed me off to a grandfather I had never seen before, not even giving me a chance to grieve for my brother, and promptly forgot I was there for a few months.”

“But not forever…” 

“I wish,” Jensen snorted. “They needed someone to carry on the Ackles political ambitions. I was certainly capable, and now I had lost my big brother. I... just… I don’t know… I just wanted to make him proud… make Josh proud of me… and there were all these people, my family, all grieving too, who were looking at me as if I were the saviour of the world. From being largely ignored or being the one that disappointed, suddenly I had all this attention on me. I think it twisted something in me, and no matter how many times I tried to kick against it, somehow I kept being drawn back in – the guilt of letting them down was too much, the desire to do something for Josh overwhelming.”

“That wasn’t healthy, Jen,” Jared croaked, moved beyond tears.

“Don’t I know it?” Jensen declared hotly. “It’s cost me every scrap of happiness I have ever had in this life.

“Every time I turned round, there were just more reasons to play the game – First, Danni and then the children, until I started to really become the thing they wanted me to be. I got good at it, and that was some satisfaction, and I daresay if I had been allowed to do my own thing, perhaps I might even have enjoyed it. As it was, I was an Ackles, and that meant family values and a strong Christian moral code. No argument.

“But things changed, and I actually contemplated doing my own thing for once, giving up the politics and finding something else. I was so close, Jay. I found something, someone, I wanted to fight for, a reason to make a stand.” Jared had no doubt that Jensen was talking about him and was blown away by the revelation. He had had no idea. 

“Then my father took it all away. He found out I was gay, got evidence, and now he has his leverage, his hold over me. He holds careers, my children’s futures, in his hands.”

“What do you mean hold?” Jared stated unhappily, but noted Jensen had said careers, more than one career, not ‘my career’. “Because you’re gay?”

Jensen bit his lip. There was something Jensen wasn’t telling him. Jared willed him, begged him silently, to open up. To really tell the whole truth.

“It’s not just that… I can’t explain, Jay. You don’t understand.”

“You keep saying that,” Jared butted in, “but how can I understand if you keep your secrets?”

Jensen looked about ready to cry again, so Jared relented.

“I’m just one more person with expectations of you, aren’t you?” It wasn’t an easy admission for Jared to make, but he faced the stark truth of it anyway. 

Jensen laughed ruefully. 

“This is not your fault, Jay. This is because I am too much of a coward to stand up for myself. I’d be standing miserably on the end of this wharf whether I met you or not. The only difference would be that I would have been standing here on my own. You are the only person alive in the world today that gives a damn about me, the real me, and I wish I could be the person you deserve me to be. But I can’t. I’m sorry. I love you with every atom in my body but I am not strong enough to fight for you.” 

Liar, thought Jared. You’ve been fighting all this time, you’ve just chosen the wrong battles, tried to do it on your own... 

“Don’t go back,” Jared pleaded.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen answered sadly. “I have to.”

Jensen was always the better one in an argument. Jared knew he had lost as Jensen walked away back up the road towards the Old State House. How could he argue with Jensen’s own lack of self-worth? How could he argue with Jensen holding all the cards? Except, Jensen didn’t know that Jared knew exactly what cards Jensen was holding. And he didn’t know what Jared was capable of, what Jared would be capable of doing for the man he loved.

Jared let Jensen walk away from him, this time, but it didn’t stop him thinking.

***

Danneel’s face was pinched and white when Jensen arrived back at the house. She didn’t say anything to him as he walked past her to climb the stairs to his room, but he heard her on the phone, telling someone, probably his father, of his return. 

He showered, and changed into sweats and a T-shirt, then collapsed into his big armchair that looked out over the street. Eventually Danneel crept in.

“Do you need anything to eat?” she asked subdued and quiet.

“No, thank you,” he answered wearily.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, as though it was shameful to admit a mistake. “I shouldn’t have told him my concerns.”

Jensen looked at her, his face smooth and impassive.

“Doesn’t matter,” he answered.

“I am right, though,” she continued. “There is something going on between you and Padalecki, isn’t there?”

“Not any more… not for a long time,” Jensen said honestly, feeling the pain in the truth.

“I just… I just needed… this family, our family… it’s important, Jensen. I just didn’t want things to get screwed up. I’m sorry.”

Jensen turned to look out of the window.

“Just leave it, Danni. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Were you with him? These last couple of days. Was that where you were?” 

Danneel knew enough about her husband to recognise she was pushing too hard.

“It doesn’t matter. Get some sleep. We’ve got an election to win tomorrow. Everything else isn’t important,” Jensen said with a sharp edge in his voice.

She nodded, her fears calming as he reassured her. He had come back. Everything would be alright. She left him in the gloom, still looking out of the window.

***

2015 April to November Boston

Jared arrived back from Aspen and found Jensen, who had returned to the city four days earlier, on his door step. He didn’t say anything as Jensen followed him into his apartment, and continued to say nothing as Jensen dropped to his knees, opened his pants and sucked his brains out of his dick.

He continued not to say anything, several days later, when Jensen waylaid him in the State House’s bathroom, and proceeded to bend himself over the sink unit, as Jared thrust deeply into his ass.

In fact Jared didn’t say anything at all each and every time Jensen turned up and got him so hot and bothered he could barely think straight. He didn’t even say anything when Jensen turned up, exhausted, straight from the hospital. Jared stayed silent while Jensen spilled his fears and hopes for his new born daughter, made love to him once, long and slow, and then fucked him desperately and furiously, expecting it to be the last.

He was always expecting it to be the last time, but Jensen would eventually turn up, and Jared stayed his words because he was too afraid of changing the status quo. He hadn’t forgotten Jensen’s own words back in Aspen – no promises, nothing else to offer. He lived only for the present, refusing to think about Jensen when he wasn’t there, but inhaling every word, touch and look when he was.

He didn’t say anything until he finally couldn’t help it.

“What are we doing?” he asked, combing his fingers through Jensen’s short spikes. He was hot, sweaty, and sticky, euphoric even, but he hadn’t seen Jensen in nearly two weeks. 

Or rather he had seen a lot of Jensen over the two weeks. He’d seen the crisply dressed, confident politician and Chair of the committee Jared had just been seconded to. He’d seen Jensen look at him as if they hadn’t been swapping bodily fluids on a regular basis, and heard him speak as if his voice had never darkened with lust. He watched his hands gather papers as if they had never closed round his cock and wrung a blinding orgasm out of him, until all his careful not thinking and not talking were driven away by a litany of Jensen, want, Jensen, need, Jensen, Jensen, Jensen. The question simply leapt out of his mouth without conscious thought.

Jensen froze, hand stilled against Jared’s hip. Jared watched for the signs of Jensen shutting down on him, but they didn’t come.

“It was going to just be in Aspen. Just a few days of having something I wanted. And then walking away. But I couldn’t. I don’t want to. I still want this, I still want you,” he answered.

“For how long?” Jared asked.

“Don’t ask me that. I can’t answer that,” Jensen whispered, but Jared felt the smile on his face against his chest. Jensen tickled his fingers across Jared’s stomach instead then reached down to cup one of his balls. Jared arched into the touch, cock stiffening again. He didn’t say anything but he started to hope.

***

NOW – November 2020 Eve of the election

Jared sat for a very long time on that bench at the end of Long Wharf. He sat until the sun came up, and the first early bird runners thumped past. Then he got out his phone, and had a very difficult and long call with Jeff.

He sighed as he finished the call and started walking back to his apartment. There were one or two members of the press waiting outside already but he ignored them. He greeted the doorman as cheerfully as he could, then rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor. He stalked along the corridor until he reached his own door way. Matt had already arrived, smartly suited and ready to greet the day. He was already on the phone, and he looked a mixture of unhappy, confused and angry. Jared guessed that Jeff had already called.

He went straight to the bathroom and showered. He ignored the newly pressed suit laid out on his bed, and found his old blue jeans and sweater instead. He threw on his leather jacket, picked up his wallet and keys, and then left the apartment without saying a word.

***

2015 New Year’s Eve Boston

It came to a head exactly nine years after Jensen and Jared had met in the “Bean there Done That” coffee shop.

They had gotten careless and a picture of them had been taken back in November. The photographer had practically danced his way back to Ackles Snr.

Jensen had been distracted, and his father had, rightly as it happened, assumed that some ‘boy’ was the cause. Fearing the end of his political dreams, Alan Ackles had instructed a PI to find out what was going on. It took some time for him to process the evidence the photographer brought to him, but he wasn’t going to let the small matter of Jensen’s perversions get in the way of getting a second Ackles into the Whitehouse. He threatened Jensen, he bullied Jensen, he cajoled Jensen. Jensen was utterly terrified of how easily he could have been caught – next time it might not be someone working for his father, next time it might be the press and then both his and Jared’s careers would be forfeit.

This he explained to Jared, face blank, eyes dead, when he told him he could no longer see him. He reassured Jared that Jensen’s companion in the photograph was unidentifiable and that even if the worst happened, Jared would be all right. Jared said nothing, but walked back through the Common to the State House. 

This time, he didn’t find Jensen back on his door step the next day nor the next, nor the following week or even month.

On New Year’s Eve, the small kernel of hope he had been nursing died, and he drunk dialled Jensen’s phone. 

They met at the end of Long Wharf, the sound of merriment in the surrounding bars loud but allowing them a measure of privacy.

“I told you no promises. I can’t give you anything more,” Jensen had said, voice infuriatingly lacking in emotion.

“You can,” Jared had begged. “You are stronger than you think you are.” A sentiment he echoed five years later as they both stood in exactly the same place.

Jensen had shaken his head in disbelief.

“I love you,” Jared had said, and had been malicious in his delight when he saw Jensen’s smooth veneer crack just a little bit.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen had answered, a catch in his voice.

“I’ve given you everything you wanted. I never sought you out. I did everything I could to hide how I felt. I have lied to keep you secret. I have gone against everything I believe in to make sure you weren’t outed. I love you. I fucking love you and you tell me it doesn’t matter? You fucking liar, Ackles. You cowardly filthy, fucking liar. You love me too, I know you do. You fucking, unbelievable coward.” Jared refused to cry but felt the tears coming anyway.

Jensen tightened his jaw, still trying to maintain his mask of indifference.

“You don’t understand, Jay,” he had said in answer.

“So tell me! Explain to me why being President of the United States is more important than me, Jensen. Tell me!” Jared had screamed at him, but the shutters came down and Jared knew he had lost.

“Don’t you ever come around again, Jen. Not ever. This is not something you get back. This is over. Completely and utterly over. Do you understand?” 

“I understand,” Jensen had whispered to Jared’s back as he walked away.

***

NOW November 2020 Election day

Transcript CNN morning news with Emma Christian 11.26.20

“And in a shocking development in the fiercely fought Massachusetts State elections, Jared Padalecki, member of the Every One Party, announced he was standing down from today’s election. No formal announcement has been made, but speculation is rife after the Traditional Values Party released photographs of Mr. Padalecki leaving a nightclub in downtown Boston several nights ago. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, leader of the Every One Party gave a short statement earlier regretting Padalecki’s decision, but refusing to answer any questions. An official statement will be issued shortly. The Padalecki Represents Every One campaign team, were also unavailable for comment, and it is understood that Mr. Padalecki has already left the city. 

The situation has shocked Padalecki’s colleagues. Mr. Padalecki has had a solid, and creative career in Boston politics since he graduated with a doctorate in law from Harvard. Considered to be one of the ‘honest’ ones, he has worked tirelessly for a number of different causes over the year but is best known as a champion of minority rights, including those of the LGBT community.

The decision to stand down leaves Jensen Ackles of the Traditional Values Party as the clear front runner.”

***

Transcript: Voice Message left on Padalecki, J cell phone Number unknown 11.26.20 09:53

“ What the fucking hell are you doing, Jay?”

***

Press Statement from Padalecki Represents Every One Boston campaign 11.26.20 09:45

It is with the greatest regret that I must announce my withdrawal from the election for personal reasons.

As a young boy growing up in poverty, facing hardship and intolerance, I never expected to find somewhere that I could call my home. But I did, and Boston was that place for me. I have been proud to serve the city of Boston for over ten years, and I was honoured, and still feel honoured, that many people felt I could represent the communities that live in this great city at a national level. I want to thank you for that belief in me, and apologise for disappointing you. However, there are times when personal issues take on an importance that cannot be ignored, and I would be doing Boston a grave disservice by proceeding with this election, when my heart and mind are distracted.

Jared Padalecki.

*** 

Alan Ackles was speechless when his wife announced that Jared Padalecki was at the door.

A tall, shaggy haired man, looking grim and tired was ushered into the study. Alan moved to greet him, but Jared stared at the proffered hand, and then ignored it.

“I won’t share pleasantries with you, Ackles. I wouldn’t want to disgust you,” Jared said bitingly.

Alan spluttered a little, and felt his hackles rise.

“I take it you’ve already heard the news,” Jared continued. “I know that you know about Jensen and me. I am doing this for him.. and me, I guess. You’ve made his life insupportable over the years when all he ever wanted to do is please you. I’ve helped make him miserable too, and we are going to break him completely unless something gives. And it’s going to be me – one less thing to have to face in the morning, one less voice trying to tell him what to do.” 

Alan remained standing, stunned.

“But, I’m not entirely selfless. I can’t give him up and then stay here in the city so I am leaving. That should please you.”

“So what the hell are you doing here?” Alan finally found his voice.

“Ah yes, the main purpose of my visit. A little warning for you, Ackles. You have pictures of me and Jensen. Don’t deny it. Jensen told me that whilst he was clearly recognisable in them, his companion was unidentifiable. I believed him at the time, but then I was too fucking miserable to think clearly. He’d just broken my heart. It didn’t take long for me to realise what really happened though. You threatened to expose both of us, didn’t you? And Jensen gave me up to protect my career, not his. Well, you can’t hold that over him now – I no longer have a career that needs protecting."

“You’re crazy,” Alan said through gritted teeth.

“Really?” Jared smiled, and it looked like a snarl. “Perhaps. But do you want to know what else I know? I’m sure you’re aware that Mark Shepherd has been heading up my campaign. He’s a dirty little critter, who delights in digging in everyone else’s shit. Guess what he discovered when he was mucking around looking for dirt on Jensen? Jensen, obviously, isn’t the only one that can’t keep it in his pants!” Jared dumped an envelope onto Alan Ackles desk. “I’m sure you can guess exactly what these might be. I vetoed their use – I didn’t want to play those games, but, hey, I’ve removed myself off the board, and I don’t give a shit anymore.”

Jared glared at Ackles as he swallowed painfully. 

“What do you want?” he asked finally, all confidence draining away.

“Nothing!” Jared said. “Except, leave Jensen alone. Let him run his campaigns the way he wants. Let him make the political decisions he wants to make. I think you’ll find he’ll be magnificent at it. And those pictures of us? If they ever get out, then I will release these ones in retaliation. Do you understand? I will bring you and your precious party to its knees if I have to!

“Nice doing business with you, Ackles,” Jared concluded, and was gone in an instant, door banging noisily behind him.

Neither of them noticed Jensen, standing in the shadows of the hallway.

***

Jensen won by a landslide, of course. Kane was a complete unknown despite the flurry of activity around him in the last few days of the election, and Jensen was an Ackles, one of Boston’s own. Danneel, carrying two year old Nathan, smiled broader than she had ever smiled before. She was on her way to Washington. Donna Ackles, holding five year old Sarah’s hand, waved and tried not to worry about her husband’s unusual distraction, keeping up her appearance as a proud mother of a brilliant son. 

The family walked through the crowds of their campaign staff, volunteers and sponsors, shaking hands, and exchanging congratulations, words barely comprehensible under the loud, pumping music but the sentiment understood all the same. 

And Jensen? He was the brightest of them all. He looked like a movie-star, green eyes blazing, strong jaw clean-shaven, hair styled and glossy. He was wearing an expensive, finely tailored grey suit that outlined his athletic build. He looked confident, and happy, teeth flashing as he smiled broadly at colleagues and old family friends alike. When Nathan started to cry, scared by the riot of noise, he easily swung him from Danneel’s arms into his own, and his soft words and fond looks soon soothed his young son. A lot of the women in the crowd and a significant number of men (who would absolutely deny it) swooned at such a sight and all thought, for sure, a legend equal to that of JFK was born.  
Jared watched the celebrations from the small TV screen in the hotel. He hadn’t gone out of state – not yet anyway. He simply moved out to Rockport - tiny, sleepy-in-the-winter Rockport, taking the train to long, lonely walks on empty wind-swept beaches. At least that was the plan for tomorrow. Today or what was left of it, had been turned over to wallowing. He watched Jensen, poking at his pain, and loving him so hard it hurt. He knew that Jensen could never have carried off the celebrations if Jared were still in Boston. He knew that Jensen would be able to think clearly now, and it showed in his poise this evening.

The family were joined by an obviously rattled Alan Ackles. Jared laughed in triumph and then wondered if he would ever have to use the photographs of Alan and a ‘mystery woman’. He hoped not. It wasn’t in his nature to be mean, but he would do anything for Jensen.

The cheering became more enthusiastic as Jensen approached the microphone. Jared intended to hear Jensen’s speech and then turn off the TV and turn his back on Jensen – walk away from Jensen one final time.

The hall quietened. Jensen was standing straighter than he ever had; power and popularity suited him. He would make a brilliant President, and even Jared, a die-hard liberal, would be voting for him.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends. Thank you so much for being here. My family and I have appreciated your support and hard work over these last months, weeks and days and without you, I could not be standing here.”

Jensen spoke strongly. Jared approved and his heart started to feel too full.

“A very, very special person once told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be. I was six and had roundly announced that I wanted to be an astronaut. Everyone laughed at me, as perhaps they should, and I cried. Josh, my big brother, didn’t laugh though, and he whispered to me as he handed over a stolen chocolate biscuit, that if I wanted to travel in space then nothing would stop me. When I was nine, I decided I wanted to be a doctor…”

There was a round of affectionate laughter. Everyone knew where this speech was going – didn’t everyone dream of The White House when they were growing up. But Jared, in his small hotel room, suddenly stilled.

“It’s true, though, that we sometimes doubt who we are, and we question why we say things and the decisions we make. Somewhere between being six and now I’ve lost my grip on Josh’s assertion, and forgotten who I am, and what I wanted to be and do with my life. Watching my children grow up, I wonder who should I be for them? How can I be the best father for them? And I find myself lacking.”

Jared stopped breathing. He could see Danneel’s fake smile beginning to fall, Donna Ackles’ face registering confusion, the resignation in the slump of Alan Ackles’ shoulders.

“I never wanted to be a politician. I don’t want to aim for the White House. I don’t even believe in the majority of policies my party puts forward. I am not a happily married man, although I do love my children beyond anything.

“The truest, most admirable man in the world believes I can make a stand, and have the strength to do the right thing, and that right thing is to be who I want to be. I think Josh would approve even though he might hang his head in his hands as I utterly destroy my political career.”

There wasn’t a sound in the hall, not even the sound of a pin dropping.

“I want to be doctor or a teacher (I haven’t quite decided yet). I want my children to be proud of me. I want to support equal rights for Every One. I want to be able to say that the Bible isn’t always right. I want to be open about my sexuality. I want to be able to walk down the street holding hands with the man I love.”

There was an audible gasp from the audience and Danneel’s face was puckering as she started to cry. Jared still couldn’t draw breath. 

“There’s a brave, wonderful man out there who is prepared to give up everything for me. I want to be the man who is worthy of such a sacrifice. I hope he can forgive me.  
I apologise to you all. I cannot accept this mandate for congress.” With that, Jensen Ackles walked away from politics and never returned. Well, not for a long while anyway.

***

They tried to deny him access to his children, but forgot that Jensen Ackles was Valedictorian of his year in law school. They didn’t have a hope in keeping his children from him. He got joint custody and he made Danneel make it work. 

He went back to school, finally deciding on education, as he felt too old to start all over in medicine. That was a shame because Jensen Ackles would have made a great doctor. Almost as good as he was a teacher. For a while he worked in a high school in south Boston with kids from the wrong sides of the tracks, and he helped them make something of themselves. 

He volunteered at a shelter for the homeless three times a week. He took on pro-bono legal work. He didn’t want to waste his first degrees.

He tied up his personal wealth into trust funds for the children, living on his own wages in a small apartment. He didn’t need much for his lifestyle. 

He refused to speak to his parents for a long time. Eventually he relented and visited his mother once a week. The visits were brief and he never saw his father. He never told his mother about the photographs either. He didn’t want to stir things again. 

 

He didn’t date. He didn’t go out to the clubs to hook up either. He had loved and lost, and had no interest in replacements. 

He became a good man, and he was content.

***

Twenty-two months after Bostongate, as he laughingly liked to refer to it, Jensen met Matt Cohen in Boston’s Public Library on Copley Square. They had never been formally introduced but had met several times during the campaign. Jensen’s heart lurched when he saw him, but he calmed when he realised he was alone. Turned out Matt was visiting his family, having lived out of state for a few months.

“Jared called me up, persuaded me to come down to Texas to help him run for DA in San Antonio. Not quite in the same league as a national election but, I don’t know, there’s something about Padalecki. It was no brainer really,” Matt cheerfully rattled on.

“Jared’s in Texas?” Jensen asked carefully. 

“Yeah, went back to his home state after the debacle up here,” Matt answered. “He’s doing good down there, started practising again, got voted in as a local councillor real quick once they realised his worth, and now there’s a DA position going. I’ve got a feeling he’s not going to be stopping there. There’s something about politics that really suits him, you know...” Matt stopped suddenly and blushed. “I’m sorry… stupid big mouth…”

“No, it’s all right,” Jensen laughed. “I don’t miss it at all. But you’re right. Politics suit Jared. It was nice meeting with you again,” and they parted on easy, friendly terms.

***

Twenty-four months after Bostongate, Jensen came home to find Jared sitting on the door step of his apartment block. Jensen didn’t miss the irony – he had always gone to Jared, had always been the one waiting on the door step before because Jared had opened up his life and home to him, and he wasn’t able to do the same for Jared. Only in Aspen. 

Heart in his mouth, he looked Jared over before he approached any closer. Jared was still beautiful, perhaps there was some grey at his temples but his hair still fell over his face in waves, and his legs still stretched for miles. He was reading a book, lost in its words and didn’t notice Jensen until Jensen was standing over him.

“What are you reading?” Jensen asked curiously.

“Uh… Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” Jared answered after jumping with surprise at Jensen’s words.

“A classic!” Jensen said.

“I’m embarrassed to say that I have never read it before,” Jared smiled. “Want a coffee?”

Jensen followed Jared into the nearest coffee shop. It was always going to be a coffee shop.

“I brought the book while I was waiting. I got here this morning, and your neighbour said you wouldn’t be home until after work.” 

“Have you been sitting on my door step all day?” Jensen asked looking at how far Jared had got through the book.

“I had a break for lunch, but… uh… yeah,” Jared explained.

“That’s a long time to wait,” Jensen said softly, not really meaning Jared’s door stop marathon.

“Fifteen years,” Jared answered, knowing instantly what Jensen was getting at.

“I…uh… wanted to give you some time. Let you sort your head out, that sort of thing. It’s not that I didn’t want to come straight back to the city after that speech. God I wanted to, but I thought you might need some time,” Jared continued.

“Yeah, thanks. I did,” Jensen responded. “Not two whole fucking years, though.”

Jared’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh!”

“Yeah, oh! Or did you not understand the very public declaration of love I made as I totally wrecked my family and political pretentions for you,” Jensen grinned at Jared’s chagrin. “I tried finding you, but you’d disappeared off the radar. I only found out a few weeks ago that you were in Texas from meeting up with Matt.”

“You seeing anyone?” Jared asked. Jensen snorted with derision.

“No, I am very single, thank you very much. I had the quickest divorce in history. She couldn’t wait to rid of me fast enough. You?”

“No, I mean, yes, I’m single. No, I’m not seeing anyone,” Jared stumbled over every word. “There hasn’t been any one: never anyone, never will be since you, Jen.”

Jensen flushed, but looked pleased.

“Have you forgiven me?” Jensen asked next.

“Depends,” Jared negotiated. “Are you coming back to Texas with me?”

“Probably. I guess they need high school literacy and history teachers in San Antonio too,” Jensen mused.

“Then you’re forgiven. And I could do with some help on my debating skills… care to help me?”

“You don’t need to have good debating skills – just smile, bring out the dimples, and look honest and earnest. You’ll win every time.”

They smiled at each other.

“You knew, didn’t you? About me knowing about the pictures…” Jared asked.

“I overheard your conversation with my Dad, Jay. I was in the hallway.”

“Shit!”

“Yeah, no kidding. I heard it all - even the threats, and the wildly inappropriate declaration of love.” Jensen grunted in satisfaction at Jared’s shocked face.

“I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to follow through…” Jared admitted, instigating a peal of laughter from Jensen. There was something so wonderfully light about him now, like he was back in Aspen. He looked radiant. Jared didn’t care that he was staring in utter wonderment like a sap, he let every feeling show on his face. Jensen licked his lips, and blushed adorably, but his eyes had darkened with desire, and Jared’s fluffy emotions immediately became dirty and darker.

“You were fucking amazing, Jen. That speech… I have never been so proud of you.” Jared paused. “Nor so gobsmacked, but still…”

“Are you due back in San An soon?” Jensen asked steering the conversation away from difficult, painful things. There would be time for that later.

“Not for a few days – didn’t know how easy it was going to be meeting up with you. Turns out you’re plenty easy.”

“Always was,” Jensen laughed. “Thirty minutes, remember? I kept Grandpa Shaffer’s house. Gave everything else back, but kept his house. It was never an Ackles thing anyway. Wanna come and hang out?”

“Oh God, yeah,” Jared answered earnestly, and they left the coffee shop, walking side by side, hand in hand.

EPILOGUE

It’s difficult to leave characters you’ve spent so much time with, which is why so many writers include an epilogue. They want to keep telling you about the lives they created. I’m no different. I want to carry on telling you about the epic love story of Jared and Jensen, although it is difficult to top a public declaration of love on national TV, as Jensen is often fond of telling Jared when he fails abysmally at romantic gestures, but deciding when to stop is not easy. They’ve walked out of a coffee shop (there’s a happy symmetry in that), with lots of potential for future happiness. That should be enough. It’s an indulgence to continue (and very possibly a way to make up a number of words when I fell short of the 20,000 necessary for the SPN J2 Bigbang). So do feel free to stop here and not let me get away with it.

But for those who need to know, did Jared and Jensen live happily ever after?

Well, mostly…

To begin with everything is rosy.

Jensen finds Texas a little too hot for his bred-in Boston flesh but he enjoys the frequency of occasions when Jared just has to remove his shirt because Jared is sweating like a pig. He also misses his kids. He turns out to be a great father, and feels their absence keenly. That situation resolves itself a couple of years after he moves when Danneel remarries a diplomat. Jensen makes a fine argument as to why his children need stability rather than being trekked around the world, and ends up with full custody. Jared proves to be an able if slightly anarchic step parent, or will be just as soon as Texas passes the Equal Marriage law. Jared’s working hard at that one – he has a vested interest – so surely it’s only a matter of time.

Jared gets a little frustrated at Jensen’s refusal to get involved in anything that remotely seems like Politics (capital P). He argues competently against Jensen’s objections but he’s never won a debate against the man yet, and never will. However Jensen is finding his niche in education, and there is an increasingly long line of young people who find it difficult to resist Jensen, and who suddenly find themselves with ideas and ambitions they previously thought unattainable. Jared is very, very proud of that, although he knows first hand how difficult it is to resist Jensen so he does have some sympathy. They still argue a lot about politics (little p). Jensen is indeed a liberal but with a heavy side of conservatism. Jared’s just all liberal. There are some serious areas of contention between them. Texans find Jared difficult but don’t seem to be able to stop voting for him. Jensen knows how they feel.

Aspen remains their bolt hole. They take the kids there once a year, and Jensen imparts all the knowledge he gained from Grandpa Shaffer. They are growing up to be quite outdoorsy types. Jared and Jensen go on their own quite a lot too. They don’t do much besides fucking. That trip, when they first got back together after Bostongate, they did a hell of a lot of talking too, and crying, but that was cathartic and healing. 

After that there are difficult times.

It becomes clear to Jensen that Jared’s political ambitions, although noble and altruistic, are indeed ambitious. Jared loves everything about the political arena, particularly when he finally gets the Equal Marriage law passed. Jensen, not so much. They start to fight. Jared feels unsupported. Jensen feels misunderstood. It’s not as though he resents Jared’s feelings, he’s just concerned. He doesn’t have faith in the political system and he associates the career with pain and the selling of souls. But he’s big enough to realise that it’s his problem and he has enough faith in Jared to realise that Jared works the system, not the other way around. His one true love is incorruptible. There are negotiations, and concessions made on both sides. Jensen agrees to be a visible presence at Jared’s side, and an advisor but only on a part time basis. He still continues to teach and will always do so until he’s of retirement age. Jared learns a valuable lesson in empathy and how important it is to listen to your significant other and gains a husband. There’s some more talking and crying in the house in Aspen, followed by a lot of fucking and peace is restored.

And then there’s Washington.

Jared is a force of nature, so, of course, he ends up in the White House as the first gay President. Jensen refuses to be ‘First Man’ at first which causes World War III, but it turns out there are teaching jobs in needy, broken neighbourhoods in Washington too. It’s not easy, when the class is bolstered by the attendance of the bodyguards, but as the Special Forces are now also getting educated, Jensen can’t complain. They make their peace with each other, and both of them admit to being very smug that it wasn’t another Ackles that got into the White House but the Padalecki-Ackles. Jared made sure to point that out to Alan Ackles, now practically retired, but still standing tall with pride despite his age, the first day he met him lobbying in the Senate House. Once Jared introduced the new Tolerance In the Curriculum legislation, Jensen had a bit of a turn around and rolled his sleeves up to act as a consultant. He found himself becoming a figurehead, then he found himself back on the debating stage. Commentators believe that it was Jensen Ackles-Padalecki who was the key to Jared Padalecki gaining a second term. Jensen may have given up on politics but politics certainly hadn’t given up on him. 

And when things get too much, there was always the house in Aspen. There wasn’t much that couldn’t be fixed by fucking, even if, due to old age, it wasn’t quite as furious or desperate as it once was.

They spent a lot of their formative lives walking away from each other. They spend the rest of their lives walking side by side, hand in hand. I think that makes for a happy ending.


End file.
